Protest.

I just mentioned this in an email to Ms. Knotty Yarn – whenever I protest to Coffee that I am “not an X” (bitch, freak, jerk, etc.) he’ll remind me of this scene from ‘Friends’ and it always cracks me up.

Ross: I’m not a pervert.

Phoebe: Please, that’s the pervert motto. They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand in your pants and say that.