Despite my willingness to tell you anything – everything! – I am thoroughly convinced that you will, any time now, use all of it against me. Sometimes I literally feel like I’m just dangling it all here in front of you so that I can be proven correct when you snatch it and run. There are, at best, five people in this world that I trust implicitly; I doubt this surprises anyone.
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Yah, it dawned on me a LONG time ago that you can’t trust people at all. That doesn’t stop me from being an open book. I don’t know why this is. I mean as far as my journal and shit like that goes… I’m an open book. I’m not so open anymore on stuff like WNET or my discussion boards, because I guess my journal is MINE and if you have issue with it, you can fuck off. Whereas other forums are for DISCUSSION, and perhaps I don’t want to discuss things, I just want to muse or rant or elucidate or blather or what have you… and all of that has NOTHING to do with interaction other than me writing and someone else reading.
HA!
On the bright side, I’m honest.
I have had A LOT OF SHIT thrown back in my face from stuff I’ve written, to the point where I nearly got dooced for it. I seriously don’t care anymore. My counsellor and I came to some weird point where I realized that I was born to write. I will die a writer. I cannot let what other people think of me, my life, my choices, my words or my opinion have ANY impact on the fact that I must write.
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