I Like ‘Em So Thick They’re Hard to Suck.

Cancer (June 21-July 21) I like Kelis, but something’s missing. I was pleasantly surprised by her first single, and I even defended that “Milkshake” track and the ridiculous video for her new song, “Bossy.” Upon reflection, however, I always find she’s not that exciting, that it’s all flash and parlor tricks. This will resemble your sex life this week. Experiences that initially seem great will leave you with a feeling of nagging incompleteness. Use the increased insight you’ll develop midweek to figure out whether this is just neuroses or a genuine problem with your lover’s milkshake.

(Nerve)