
As a result of my ulcer, I am very cautious about consuming alcohol. I don’t like to piss off the Tummy Queen anymore than I have to (and I need to still keep up my schedule of eating chocolate regularly and guzzling caffeine – there’s not a lot of room to wiggle here!) I’ve also never been a huge fan of the taste of most liquors and beers.
Today, however, is NaDruBloDa – the annual day of drunken blogging. This is a celebration I can get behind. Except that I had some alcohol in the past week and my gut is mildly disturbed by my shameful behaviour and, long story made even longer, I don’t want to provoke any mutiny in my gut. So, in lieu of a ridiculously sappy and drunken post by yours truly, I present you with a guest entry by my beloved husband.
We are not on the list of official participants. Let’s call this “Informal Drunk Blogging”, shall we? Good. Okay. Here he is…
…
Well, I guess that I can start this out by admitting that there is a bit of question as to just how drunk one has to be for this. We agreed upon three shots of vodka on an empty stomach. I did three. But I wasn’t sure it was three… I knew two, and strongly suspected the third. But, just to be sure… ahhhhhh.
As well, in the past year, I doubt that I’ve had more than 10 shorts of vodka equivalent.
And now that all of that’s out of the way. (Drum roll) I’ve got writer’s block.
I guess I’ll just quickly close (can one close before one’s truly opened? (shuddup you)) with a public service announcement. Smokers:if anyone’s ever told you that your smoking makes you smell, and you thought they were teasingly joking. And you thought that 30 seconds after you smoked you no longer had a stale stench slowing polluting the air around you. The truth is, if someone’s mentioned you stink, you really do stink (and this is coming from deaf-nosed (you can ask Violet) coffee). This was inspired by an applicant who came in to take the automated skill test. This particular one was well groomed, and given how at ease he looked, had dressed nicer than he normally would have when “dress casual” was specified. In short, he had intended to make a good impression. I’ll bet he put on deorderant. But even though he was standing at least 5 feet away from me for 90-120 seconds I was starting to gag from the smell. He obviously expended effort to make a good impression, and yet he might as well as smeared feces all over himself just before he came inside. How well can an interview go when you’ve got feces smeared all over yourself? Feces!
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