December 2006

Friends come into our lives for a reason or a season, as the saying goes.

We learn from our friends; sometimes we learn without actually realizing it. And then we grow and we’re changed by our friendships.

Firsthand, we learn what the face of heartbreak looks like, or the face of true joy, and neither can easily be described in words or even photographs. We are witnesses to huge accomplishments and, in some cases, equally huge failures. Good moods and bad.

We see, too, ourselves reflected back. The power of our words becomes apparent – to hurt, to soothe, to cheer – and it’s impossible not to imagine that our friends’ actions toward us are somehow reflective of us. Sometimes we see that as a compliment; sometimes we see it as a sign that we are terrible people. In theory, it’s just the co-dependent in the crowd who feel that way, but I think most people do (to some extent). We see our impact on a small part of the world.

In the strongest of friendships we grow and become bigger, better, more amazing people.

Our friends can bring out the best – and the worst – in us. They know the buttons to push when a reaction is desired and, when we’ve known each other long enough, they’re full of blackmail material. But they also know how to encourage the parts of us that we neglect for any number of reasons. They see some glimmering sparkle underneath the surface (sometimes far, far, FAR beneath) and they bring it to a full shine. The best friends encourage and support even that which they do not understand, really.

I look at my friends – those who live nearby and those who live far away. And I look at those I’ve known for what seems like forever and some who it seems like I just met yesterday. And I think of the things I’ve learned: how to be a better person, how to express myself, how to be stronger and more confident, how to laugh, how to handle nearly any situation..

It’s unfair to the people who live in my life that my ultimate friendship gauge is Deb – a woman who passed away a few years ago – but it can’t be helped. Deb was a perfectly imperfect person. The first female friend I ever loved so strongly; at a time when I swore I wanted no female friends (ever again!) she appeared and convinced me to bend that rule a little. It was fate, kismet, magic.. whatever.

People tend to romanticize the dead – shoving them into Sainthood and glossing over the negatives. The annoying moments or the angry words. And I won’t deny that Deb’s negative points (as few as they were) have long-since faded into being very unimportant.

It says something, however, that her shining parts are still so vivid. She set the standard. Everyone I know is thinking about her, lately.

And see? That’s yet another lesson learned from Deb: there’s nothing wrong with having high standards.

I miss you, Debbie-Sue. And, as always, thank you.

This weekend I saw two things, outside of the craft show, that made me feel happy to live in my new city.

As we drove up a main street in Waterloo, I noticed a strange sign bolted to a pole at the corner of a major intersection. When we arrived at our destination we wandered over and took this picture. Turns out there are many of these signs around – something I’ve never seen in any other city. Most places make it illegal to post anything, anywhere.

.

Yesterday, on our way back to the car after the Stitch-n-Kitsch sale, I noticed the strange shape of a sewer grate out of the corner of my eye. Looking around, I realized that all of the grates in the lot were identical – as Coffee noted, it’s a good reminder of where the contents of drainage sewers end up.

Kelly mentioned that I like to give her books. Every time she visits, I drop another selection into her bag with the instruction to, “Read it.. whenever..”

I like to give EVERYONE books.

I truly believe that books – amongst other things – should flow. There are some books that I absolutely and very clearly demand the reader return to me on completion but there are more that I simply read and release into the world because, well, flooooooooow. If I love a book, really, I must let it go..

I also don’t believe in setting a time limit on the lending of books. If I hand it to you, it is not with a “DUE DATE” stamped on the inside like you’d find in a library. This, I suppose, is because I believe that simply being surrounded by books can be motivating and because there are certain moods or states of mind that one must be in to fully appreciate certain genres or writing styles. Put that book on your nightstand, your kitchen shelf, next to your bathtub and, when the urge strikes, pick it up and devour it.

The extended-borrow also leads to some great moments later – sometimes years later – when someone returns a book to me and it’s like rediscovering it. “Oh! I loved this book!” Time to fling myself onto the nearest soft surface for an intense re-read.

I’m in the midst of consuming a stack of adoption-related books from the library, a few books that I’ve picked up from various places, and two books that have been loaned to me. It’s like a literary party inside my head. Sweeeeeeeeet.

Coffee’s work Christmas party went well last night. For my part, I did not get drunk and fall over, I did not insult anyone needlessly, and OH, the “Geek Factor” in the room was.. intense. INTENSE.

We played many rounds of pool, and in most cases I was a neutral contributor rather than a full-out detriment to my various teams. GO ME! I really like shooting pool, but I cannot sink anything that I actually want to sink, I love to sewer the cue ball AND I get distracted and have to repeatedly ask, “Am I stripes or solids?” which, if my pool-shark father were alive, would get me disowned.

I’ll admit that while playing pool – a very geek-worthy game – I was hoping to hear some intense mathematical discussions during those moments when the cue ball was loitering in a manner that made it hard to get a clear shot. Instead, there was much mocking of the individual preparing to shoot – which soothed me. Smack talk is ALWAYS appropriate.

Also, sadly, no one geeked-up enough to whip out a protractor to calculate appropriate banking angles. Sad. Very very sad. I was disappointed and next year I’m going to fill my pockets with little plastic protractors that I’ll “accidentally” drop on the table at the start of the game. Oh yeah.. Geek Baiting!

It was my first time meeting most of Coffee’s coworkers – I have met his boss and the guy who provides reception/tech support previously. They were pretty much as I expected: geeky, dorky, geeky and more dorky. It was FABULOUS. I mean, yeah!

Plus, I have to confess that it was nice to attend an office party that didn’t require me – or Coffee – to dress up beyond the basic spit-n-polish. And there were onion rings. And rum and cokes. Very festive, in my books.

This morning, when the alarm began to blare, I announced that, “I hate crafts. What kind of an idiot LIKES crafts? WHO would want to go to a craft show? BAD idea.” as my head dropped tiredly back on my pillow.

Coffee reminded me that this was in fact my idea, that I had set the alarm, and that I had been talking about this craft sale for a while now.

Oh. Right.

Then I tried, “Hey, I’ll wait here! Why don’t YOU go and bring me back.. um… Oh! Go and bring me back a craft!”

He wasn’t going for THAT, either.

Suckitup, Buttercup! I hauled my butt out of bed. Checked email and noted that Kelly and Melle were both still planning to go. I had money in my purse, shoes on my feet..

So we went.

And oh! OH! OH! There were GNOMES! Artwork! Beads! Notecards! Glasswork! Pottery! Things that I couldn’t afford but wanted! Gorgeous wood creations and fancy knitted hats!

I forced Coffee to escort me once around the room – while my wallet remained in my purse – and then a second lap to check out the middle tables. THEN the money came flying out. Yummy, yummy, handmade STUFFS.

I would have happily scooped up every single artist that I talked to and demanded that they be my friend because OH! I am SO jealous of their skills. Plus, I got some great ideas for some stuff that I’d like to make, too, and I could use some guidance from the experts. Plenty of funky-coloured hair and friendly faces and very very cool stuff. And I got some tips on local glassworking classes that I may just sign up for. Yum. BIG YUM.

Now I’m SUPER tired and would really like to go back to bed for a few hours – but.. shortly we’ll be heading out again. Tonight is Coffee’s office Christmas party and I’m going to shoot some pool and check out all the people my Blessed Husband works with all week long. In the meantime, I’ve got to start chugging the caffeine in front of me.

I love weekends..

The adoption package arrived today – paperwork for us to fill in and return to the agency. The timeline, in theory, is that we send this information back to them, an adoption worker is assigned to us, and then we start the homestudy and classroom time simultaneously. A year from now, we have a new member of the family arrive.

I have heard from reliable sources, however, that things aren’t as smooth as it’s all made out to be. I’m trying to temper my enthusiasm accordingly; you can probably imagine how well THAT’s working.

The big conversation point lately? Coffee and I are trying to make a decision about whether we want to adopt one child or two. I’m curious what other people think…

Read the rest of this entry »

Gifted with a new rawhide or bone, the dogs are faced with a stunning dilemma. Should they express their glee at receiving the gift while, through their excited behaviour, alerting the other dog that they have said new item? Or should they try to remain calm and subtle as they sneak out of the room with the gift clamped firmly in their jaws in the hopes that the other dog won’t notice?

Zooey couldn’t decide. So for over an hour, she stood with her butt in the air (“I’m excited! So very excited!”) and her face on the carpet (“Nothing to see here! I’m not chewing on anything!”) and every time one of us got too close she’d give us The Evil Eye.

It was really hard not to tip her over. Repeatedly. One little shove is all it would have taken…

I’ve been feeling “generally unwell” for the past few days – but it isn’t something I can put my finger on. No stuffed nose, for example, or violent ralphing, but just this all-over feeling of “ugh”. Vaguely nauseated, vaguely headachey, sore joints and completely exhausted. I suspect that my body is fighting something; maybe I’ve been invaded by a cootie from the doctor’s office?

At any rate, I’m telling you this because I am behind (as usual) in my email.. but I’ll try to get to it this weekend.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep swallowing vitamins and omega capsules and soy nog. Because, um, soy nog is MAGICAL.

There is only one thing that I dislike – nay, HATE – about UFC.
And his name is Joe Rogan.
UGH.