November 2007

I spoke with our adoption worker today and scheduled our meeting with the boys’ foster parents. We’ll be heading to see them in a nearby city on December 10th, at home, in the morning.

(She also emailed me more photos and oh, man, I could die from the cute. I COULD.)

The boys will be in school on the 10th which will give us plenty of opportunity to grill the foster parents about the boys’ habits, likes/dislikes and general info. I’m particularly interested in what they’ll be bringing with them when they come – what clothes they have, toys they have, etc – so we can start making plans to supplement as needed.

On a related note, I have come to realize that children’s clothing makes about as much sense as women’s clothing does. It may even be MORE convoluted. Yeeesh.

If all goes well, and I imagine it will, we’ll plan the transition schedule then and there. This will mean setting up a series of dates – starting with a short visit at their foster home, followed by them coming to our house (with their foster parents) to visit, followed by a few afternoons together (or mornings) and workin up to a weekend visit.

And then they’ll be LIVING HERE.

We aren’t sure how the boys are with Christmas – whether they have any negative feelings toward the holiday. A lot of kids in care have experienced shitty holidays or miserable birthdays while with their biological family, and it’s an area onto which adoptive parents must tread carefully.

So we’ll see how they feel about the holidays and, if it’s positive, we’ll likely start the visits and transition BEFORE the holidays. Obviously they won’t be living with us full-time before Christmas, but shortly after would be more than reasonable.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

First, 10 Reasons Why Johnny Cash Owns Chuck Norris. I am not a fan of Chuck Norris, nor his supposed coolness, so this list was clearly made just for me. But you’ll like it too if you’re a fan of Mr. Cash.

Reason 3.
Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls.

[snorfle, tee hee and all the rest.]

And then, there’s this little icanhas that made me laugh really, really hard while saying “Awww!” at the same time. That takes a special kind of talent.

*double tee hee*

Thank God it’s Friday.

You know, for sure, that it’s windy outside when you happen to glance up and see your fully-loaded garbage bin BLOWING DOWN THE STREET, spewing bags of garbage as it went.

BLERGH.

Today’s the final day of NaBloPoMo which means, in theory, I’m off the hook for daily posts.

Truth be told, I only had a day or two where it was hard to post anything at all and where my brain just refused to cooperate with coherent thought. But I did manage to power through that, anyway, and I met the goal of one (or more) post(s) per day in the month of November. Go me!

I was asked if I’d be joining the Holidailies posting extravaganza and.. I don’t know if I’m up for it. Life as we know it is really close to a changing in a big way and there’s a lot of stuff to do in preparation and I don’t want to be overwhelmed.

But writing always helps me feel more centred and balanced. So perhaps a “mandated” daily posting for another month wouldn’t be a bad thing.

On the flip side, again, I don’t want to clog up your RSS readers for another month.

But..

But….

Really, I have no idea.

Angela died last night.

I’ve written and rewritten this post a billion times since finding out the news and all I can do is point you over to Melle.

I can’t seem to make a coherent paragraph on the subject. It’s just so sad.

I like to think you’re all out there kindly forgiving me for not replying to email in a ‘timely manner’. I’m just.. a little.. overwhelmed. So many good wishes and shrieky emails and giddy comments and, well, I am totally basking in The Love for a while and being amazed by how many people are happy for us!

(And I was already behind in my email.. eeep!)

But I will reply. Soon. I promise.

First I need to figure out where I lost my brain and coherent thoughts…

Sometime, in the next little while, I’ll be launching a new blog where I’ll be writing about adoption, the three boys, and all the changes that will soon be taking place.

I had considered writing it all here – where I write about everything else! – but with “older child adoption” blogs being somewhat scarce (and even more so when it comes to adopting multiple siblings who are not infants) it seemed like a good idea to put it elsewhere. This way I can connect with people who may be considering the idea of adopting siblings and who do not appreciate my off-the-cuff remarks about hookers and blow and profanity.

This is not to say that I won’t be blogging about the kids here. You’re not getting out of it THAT easily.

It’s just that this is my casual-writing place. I don’t get really deep here very often.

I’ll post the URL, of course, once it’s all set up and running!

I don’t even know where to start. I JUST DON’T KNOW! I AM TOO EXCITED AND EVERYTHING COMES OUT SOUNDING LIKE I’M SHRIEKING.

*ahem*

The entire day was the exact opposite of what I had been expecting, for the most part.

I’m not sure that I’ve mentioned this, recently, but we do not yet have a completed homestudy. We’re already approved as adoptive parents but, in all truth, we’re not supposed to start the matching process until all of the interviews and background info we’ve provided has been put into writing by our worker.

We assumed we wouldn’t hear anything about any children until that homestudy was written and signed.

And then, recently, we had one child presented to us as a tentative match. We declined to pursue her further and man, that sucked.

Shortly after that, we received an email from our worker telling us that there were three boys available that we might be interested in pursuing further. As it turned out, those were the three boys whose profile, months earlier, I had called Coffee over to the computer to view. Three boys that I’ve been pondering for a while as a hypothetical-maybe-could-we?

Suffice to say that we replied IMMEDIATELY that we’d be MORE than glad to meet and talk about them!

Today we met with our worker, the adoption worker for the agency and the boys’ placement worker.

We sat around a big boardroom table and talked about the nitty gritty as it pertains to the boys; how they came into placement, what their experiences were in their early years, what difficulties they’re likely to experience in the future and all sorts of other stuff that you’d expect to hear discussed in an adoption-related meeting.

And when all the questions were answered we couldn’t think of a single reason NOT to adopt these boys. There were no ‘red flags’ or ‘scary diagnoses’. There are quirks and issues, of course, but these are kids in foster care who’ve been removed from their parents. It’d be more distressing if they had NO issues!

Coffee and I took about 2 seconds to breathe before we announced that we’d like to continue with the process. The workers smiled and said they didn’t need any time to talk about it further – they agreed we’d be good parents for these boys. And so, we begin!

We have to call the adoption worker tomorrow morning to confirm that we haven’t changed our minds. There is no chance we’ll be changing our minds.

Before we left, the adoption worker let us watch a video about the three boys – one that was presented at the ARE (Adoption Resource Exchange) very recently. It was the first time we heard the boys speak (all but the youngest) and saw them “moving” instead of in a digital picture.

And I’m not embarassed to admit that I started to get a bit weepy.

(Okay, I’m a little bit embarassed. Just not much..)

In the next week or two, Coffee and I will meet with the boys’ foster parents to talk about the boys’ daily routines, rituals and habits. We’ll find out their favourite foods and colours and who’s taking which lessons.

If that goes well, we’ll start following a transition plan after Christmas. The goal is to spend as much time as humanly possible with the boys – to gradually take over the parenting of them – until they’re fully moved into our home.

After that we have to wait for a specific time period before we go to court and finalize the adoption.

As Coffee notes, nothing is legal yet. We still have to sign a lot of papers and get our homestudy finished and go for meetings and talk about transfering things and.. well, a lot of work. But at this point? It’s safe for me to start calling them “My Boys”.

When we left the meeting, the adoption worker let us take two HUGE photos of the two older boys with us. She had them for the ARE and thought we might like to stare at a non-digital photo for a while.

The middle child has a tiny ketchup smear on his face. I could die from the cute.

As much as we had been concerned (read: nervous as all hell) about today’s meeting, it turned out to be completely and utterly un-scary. I was relaxed from the moment we sat down.

They had very few questions for us, primarily because we offered information openly as we asked our own questions of the workers.

And they told us that we’re “in demand” parents who could, ultimately, pick from any number of children that the agency is currently involved with for adoption. They admired our prepation for the meeting – our checklist of questions – and they talked about just how many points we had in our favour.

These are people who now know more about me – and Coffee – than you could imagine. They know all the things that, if we were secretive people, would be considered some of our deepest secrets.

And they think we rock.

Indeed, I am proud. Behold! My Ego!

I’ve never really doubted that Coffee and I would be great adoptive parents. There’ve been moments of uncertainty, of course (and there will likely be many more in the future). There have been moments when I’ve suggested that we could skip adoption and just get a pony.

But we don’t have any of those “our child must be a doctor” urges and we have brightly dyed hair and you already know that I don’t eat breakfast foods for breakfast. And let’s not even TALK about the profanity.

It feels good to have an agency – one that’s specifically trained to look out for the best interests of the children – say that we’d be great at the job. To have professionals affirm that yes, indeed, we do have some great skills and ideas and personalities for this task.

Now, though, we have a lot of work to do. Somehow we need to find beds and dressers and the assorted miscellanea of life for three boys! There’s space to be cleared and stuff to purchase and, in short, it’s about to get really busy around here.

Zow! and Wheeeee! So very, very excited.

I have a lot more to say on the subject, of course, and some details of how the meeting went and blahblahblah.

For now, though, you just need to know this:

The 3 boys will be joining our family.

I am downright giddy.

There is no way I’m going to be able to post a reasonable entry here, right now, so let’s go with a meme..

1) Are you an Aunt/Uncle?
Not yet, but Coffee’s sister is quite pregnant at the moment with a little baby boy named Zach. I am beyond excited about this because, as an only child, it never occured to me that one day I could be an aunt to someone.

2) Can you do a cartwheel?
I sure can. It’s lopsided and not pretty, but it’s still a cartwheel, right?

3) What was the last movie you saw in theaters?
For the life of me, I cannot remember. This is the sort of question Coffee could answer for me if he were home.

4) Do you eat vegetables regularly?
Sort of. I’m getting back into it now that I’m no longer required to limit my potassium intake. I love broccoli.

5) If you were going to get a body piercing, where would you get it?
Since I’ve already got several of ‘em, I will say that I’d love an industrial pierce. Sadly, the shape of my ears and the way that I sleep means I have a hard time healing in that area.

6) Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex?
Well, I hang out with Coffee every day, and I have some male friends who I see occasionally. It’s odd that the earlier years of my life were chock-full of boys – as friends – and now I’m shifting more towards the female population.

7) What is the weather like right at this very moment?
Bright and cold. The sky is pretty much white – but it’s not snowing.

8.) What is something you can’t wait for?
The meeting this afternoon, of course, and, following that, the weekend coming up!

9) How many times have you been to Canada?
Gazillions. I live in Canada, after all.

10) Have you ever had a reptile as a pet?
Nope. I’d love to have some sort of lizard but most of them grow very large and require a lot of specialized care that I’m just not prepared to undertake. I just coo at them whenever I’m in a pet store.

11) What is your favorite fruit?
I don’t think I have one that stays constant. Mostly I love any fruit that’s 100% ripe, juicy and ready for eating.

12) What song is on your myspace profile right now?
I have no idea. (Is “nothing” an option?) I’m not even sure I can login to myspace these days. I originally signed up for an account billion years ago so I could keep up with some friends there and.. haven’t logged in for a very, very, very long time.

13) Who was your last missed call on your cell phone?
Again, I have no idea. I rarely turn my phone on and not many people have the number.

14) Where are you most ticklish?
I’m mostly not ticklish. By choice. On rare occasions a light touch on some random body part will cause me to laugh hysterically, but there’s no “most” ticklish spot.

15) How many hours a week do you normally work?
For pay? None! Yay!

16) Who’s your number 1 on myspace?
See above for myspace info.

17) Do you have deep dark secrets?
Not really. I’m pretty open about everything in my world – including my asshole-ish past, my ugly bits, my fears.. It’s all part of life.

18) When was the last time you were sick?
Sick-sick? Quite a while ago. Ill as a result of something I’ve done? Today!

19) What color is your car?
Black.

20) How many siblings do you have?
None! Nada! Zip!

21) Have you ever gotten caught sneaking out?
Nope. Where I grew up there was nowhere to GO if you snuck out. And now I’d just get up and go if I wanted to (and probably take Coffee with me, anyway, so it’s not really sneaking..)

22) Did you ever try running away from home when you were younger?
Nope. Again, I’d have to walk a billion miles to get anywhere worth going – and apparently I was about as enthused by exercise back then as I am now!

23) What makes you the happiest?
Snuggling up to Coffee. Being at home with Coffee, doin’ nothing. And, of course, gifts. I like gifts!

24) How do you feel when you see a child at the store throwing a “Tantrum”?
Amused. Totally amused. There’s just something about that free-expression of frustration that makes me grin.

25) Where do you want to be right now?
In bed, in my jammas, reading a book.

26) Have you ever finished a Rubik’s Cube?
Only if you include the option of peeling off all of the stickers and putting them back on in the ‘right’ way.

27) When is the last time you drank too much?
I honestly can’t remember. Since my ulcer appeared, I’ve been really careful about alcohol. Drinking too much is the same as pouring alcohol on an open wound when you have an ulcer. Now I’m a “sipper”.

28) When was the last time you rode a bike?
At our old house! I kept meaning to inflate my bike’s tires but we’ve been busy with so many other tasks and chores around here that it just didn’t happen. This spring, though, I’ll be back on my bike again!

29) Do you have any vacation plans for this summer?
Nope! Hopefully Coffee will take some time off from work and we’ll go camping or take some day trips. More and more I’m becoming a homebody – so the lack of vacations doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

30) Where were you 1 hour ago?
Pooping, most likely. My stomach is MIGHTY unhappy today. (TMI? Yes!)

31) Who will be your next kiss?
I’ll be smooching the dogs, without question, but the next reciprocated kiss will be with Coffee.

32) Do you kiss a lot of people?
Nope! Just Coffee, really.

33) Are you wearing socks right now?
Nope. I’m curled up in a blanket, though, so that’s keeping me warm.

34) When was the last time you went out of state province?
On the road trip with Coffee was the last time I went into another province. The last time I left Ontario was to go cross-border shopping in the US.

35) Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Nope.

36) What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water. Along with a hand full of Imodium pills.

37) What are you wearing right now?
My Mohawk sweatshirt (fav!) and my navy-with-lime-green-vines jamma pants.

38) What was your last purchase?
I haven’t the foggiest.

39) Last thing you ate?
A banana. I usually have a hard time finishing bananas so I bought some that are marketed toward kids (they’re small!) and that suited me perfectly. Bananas are supposed to be good for upset stomachs.

40) Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Nope.

41) Are you a sexual predator?
Not unless attacking my husband occasionally counts. Somehow I suspect it doesn’t. What the hell kind of a question is that, anyway?

42) What is in the backseat of your car?
An assortment of stuffed animals and a waterproof seat cover for the dogs (still in the box).

43. Three words to explain why you last threw up?
Big stupid migraine.

45. What was the last movie you watched?
We tried to watch a few movies recently and they sucked. The most recent that I enjoyed was Superbad. Yes, yes, I know.

46. Do you think Barbie is a negative role model for kids?
No more than anything else in the world. It’s all about context, I think.

47. What kind of car does your father drive?
Are there cars in Heaven?

48. Do you like scrabble?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Scrabble. I play Scrabulous every single day now that it’s available on Facebook.

49. Where did you attend high school?
In Dundas Ontario.

50. Favorite scent?
Fresh coffee.

52. Last television program you watched?
Dexter.

55. Does your family own any boats?
My cousin has/had a boat. I’m not sure if he still does.

56. Something you can’t live without?
My husband. A computer with internet access.

61. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
At work. I was the first to let my bosses know what had happened.

62. How often do you read books?
Every single day. Even if it’s just a page.

65. Describe the computer you are currently using?
I’m currently using my desktop machine (her name is Nemesis) which is running Fedora linux. She’s black and has a missing drivebay cover that Daisy headbutted out of the case. Nothing fancy. I have a big ol’ LCD monitor on the coffee table in front of me.

66. How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
The depends. If I’m going to the grocery store, I swipe on some chapstick and away I go. If I’m heading to something important, it might take me up to 45 minutes to get ready.

67. Will you donate your organs after you pass?
Absolutely. Take ‘em. Take ‘em all!

68. Have you been outside of the USA Canada?
Yep! I’ve been to the US and Mexico and the UK.

69. Would you ever get your nipple pierced?
Yes and I did.