Dear Deb.

As we put together our Christmas tree, last night, The Boys remarked that it was one of the most beautiful they’d ever seen. I had to agree with them.

The tree is shiny silver foil with purple and blue lights, a royal crapload of red shiny balls (attached to the tree with multicoloured paperclips) and red shiny foil garland.

There are chocolate-mint and grape candy canes, a few ornaments that The Boys picked out, and today we’re going to find a gigantic (and, no doubt, gaudy) star to attach to the very top.

It’s definitely not a ‘traditional’ Christmas tree. This is.. spectacular. It’d make the ‘normal’ people in the world wince.

What I’m saying, here, is that we’re obviously channeling you in our living room.

Of all the things you did as a parent, the one thing that really stuck with me was your willingness to teach your kid to be unique. To let his freak-flag fly, so to speak.

From dyeing his hair whatever colour he wanted to letting him listen to punk rock, I loved that you let him learn at an early age that we’re all free to live the way we want to live.

Childhood, in my opinion (and yours!), is a great time to live freely and not have many societal “shoulds” and “musts” attached to you. There’s so much time later in life to worry about what to wear or what other people think – though, wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to worry about that EVER?

So when the kids ask me if they can dye their hair blue, I’ll say yes. And when they ask if they can listen to some punk music, I’ll say yes. And when they ask if our silver foil tree is gorgeous, I’m absolutely saying yes.

I miss you a lot, Deb, but I’m still learning all the right lessons from you.

Love,
Violet.