January 2008

Milhouse appeared here with a snotty nose and now I have it too. I took a spoon of honey and have been drinking lots of water. I even took a nice long shower in the hopes that the steam would help my sinuses.

Next I’m going to attempt a self-drowning with the neti pot.

If I were the suspicious and paranoid type, I’d totally say that this was Milhouse’s revenge because we told him he couldn’t come over today.

(Swiped from Ms. Strph.)

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Milhouse: Why did you want to adopt kids? Is it so you wouldn’t have to go through all the pain of your own kids?

Me: No, we just really liked [The Boys] and decided we wanted them to be our kids.

Milhouse: Where were they before you adopted them?

Me: They lived with another family called a ‘foster family’. We visited them at that house and we all decided to be a family.

Milhouse: Were.. at the other house.. were they IN CAGES? WHEN YOU FIRST SAW THEM, WERE THEY IN CAGES?!

(At this point, Oldest One is standing there with this look of, “What are you, STUPID?” on his face and I’m trying not to crack up..)

Me: Uh.. no. No, they were not in cages.

Coffee: What did [Middle One] read today? I need to fill the information in on his planner.

Me: Well, I gave him the “If You Give A Pig A Pancake” book and he read that, but then he wanted more, so I gave him “If You Take a Mouse to School” and “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” and “If You Give a Pig a Party” and “If You Give A Pig An Aneurysm” and..

Coffee: Okay and.. wait.. What?!

Me: I was just checkin’ to see if you were still listening.

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Middle One is having a friend over for pizza tonight after school. Last night he went to the same friend’s house for dinner and to hang out for a few hours.

They have declared themselves “BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!!” and have swapped wrist cuffs and made a special “private box” with their names on it and which no one other than the two of them are allowed to touch.

When it was time for Middle One to come home, he and his new friend apparently exchanged hearty hugs which, COME ON! That’s the cutest thing EVER.

Coffee and I had wondered which kid would bring someone home from school first and, really, I’m not surprised that it was Mr. Social Butterfly who won that race. He wears his heart on his sleeve and we knew he’d either be totally adored by the other kids or they’d think he was a big dork. It’s hard to say how kids these days go, y’know?

Last night when Coffee returned from picking Middle One up from his friend’s place, he remarked (to me, not MO) that, “The friend is like.. Milhouse.”

Y’know, the kid from The Simpsons?

And it’s true.

In under 20 seconds “Milhouse” had told me all of his allergies (pretty much everything in existence), explained that he “wheezes when excited”, needs an inhaler when he’s doing pretty much anything at all, needs a shot of allergy meds in the morning, is “mildly allergic to peanuts”, can’t be near animals (big or small) and doesn’t like them that much anyway.

And, if we’re judging by appearances, I’m guessing he’s also an avid nose-picker.

Middle One thinks he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.

So tonight Milhouse is coming over to be knocked out by frozen pizza that, no doubt, has peanuts hidden in the crust, and then die when both dogs decide to lick his face at the same time.

I can’t wait.

[..] research confirms that I’m not alone. A 1997 Cornell A Cornell study found that 80% of older moms admitted to having a favorite child.University study found that 80 percent of older moms (anonymously) admitted to having a favorite child. The study also found that 60 percent of children could not identify who was their mother’s favored child. So that’s some small comfort: we may have a favorite child, but we don’t let it show.

(More here..)

Yesterday I dragged Little One to my doctor’s office to register him and his brothers as patients there. Our doctor had very kindly offered them a place in his (already-full) practice before we even adopted them and that was a huge relief for us. I just needed to sign stuff to have records transferred and the other nitty gritty details.

So all of the staff kind of know me there. And my therapist has her office there and remembers me.

Little One and I walked in and filled in some forms. The receptionist said, “OH! You finally adopted! YAY! But you decided on a boy, huh?”

I started to laugh. “Yeah, we changed our mind from that ‘one girl’ thing and decided on… three boys.”

There was a moment of silence.

“THREE?! BOYS?!!”

And then we all laughed. Because life never goes as planned, right?

Two second later, my therapist popped over and said hello and looked down at Little One. “Hi! I haven’t seen you in forever and.. Oh! You decided to adopt a boy, huh? He’s adorable! Congratulations!”

I repeated the “three boys” part and watched her eyebrows go up. She started to laugh too.

We left the doctor’s office and made our way to the bank where I needed to sign some papers that our banker had left for me behind the counter. Little One wandered in the reception area with his “Lightning McQueen” car in hand, making “vroom!” noises.

As I signed, I heard a voice whisper, “Oh! You adopted a boy! WOW! Congratulations!”

Our banker had popped out of her office to see me. She had been thrilled to hear, many months ago, that we planned to adopt. When she realized Little One was with me she absolutely had to come out to meet him.

They talked to each other for a few minuter (Little One talked about McQueen and the banker talked about how much she loves that movie too) and then Little One held up his other car and said, “[Oldest One] gave me this car! His name is Boost!”

The banker looked at me and said, “[Oldest One] is his brother? Ohhhhh, that’s so sad that they’re not together!”

My turn to raise MY eyebrows, “No, no, actually, we adopted his brother too. And, um, his other brother. We adopted all three. The other two are at school right now.”

She started laughing. “No girls, huh?”

“Nope. Boys are WAY BETTER THAN GIRLS!”

It’s true, y’know, that life never goes the way you’ve planned it – and that’s usually for the best. We never really know what the universe has in store for us.