May 2008

We had one of those weekends worth writing home about – if, say, you weren’t already AT home in front of your computer.

The weather was spectacular. I mean, absolutely perfect. And we spent much of the weekend outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air.

Saturday we made our way to the firefighters’ muster. The kids ran around checking out the assorted displays and watching the competitions and ringing the bells on the old firetrucks over and over and over.

We had originally thought that Maymo would enjoy it the most but, as it turns out, everyone had a really good time and it sucked when it was time to head home.

On Sunday we did MORE gardening and clean-up. Slowly but surely we’re getting things in order. I take back all of my wishes for a “big, lush garden” because, sweet merciful crap, I have no idea what I’m doing out there. No clue whatsoever.

While out there, the beagle decided to take a header into the totally skanky pond – necessitating an emergency run to the store to buy a hose so we could bathe her outdoors.

It was beyond disgusting and she wasn’t pleased to be tied to a tree in the yard for a while.

Something tells me the neighbours weren’t too pleased with her displeasure, either.

(The pond has now been drained and is ready to be cleaned and filled with something un-skanky.)

Jenn stopped by with a second composter for us – something that made Coffee totally giddy for obvious reasons. We’ll be filling that one up just as fast as the first, I suspect, as we continue clearing all the crap out of the yard.

Our friend Bob stopped by with a DVD of his mom’s handmade quilts. He knows I totally covet them so he wanted me to see all the quilts she had made over the years. We chatted for a while and he gave us a wonderful idea for converting our BBQ from NG to LP – keep your fingers crossed that it works because zow, that’d ROCK.

And then my friend Deb stopped by with a truckload (literally) of sporting equipment for the kids. Skateboards and sleds and soccer balls and baseball bats and and and and AND.. the garage is crammed full of sports stuff.

She also brought me a reclining chair for the yard. And it’s ALL MINE! Hello, I feel so special!

It amuses me when people worry about offending me with “used” stuff. As a kid, I remember some of the BEST stuff I ever got was “handed down” from friends and relatives. Toys, clothes, whatever.

And now? We have THREE GROWING BOYS! And they are just as thrilled to get hand-me-downs as I was – they love looking through the bags of stuff and claiming things and shouting happily.

We have been TOTALLY blessed in that regard. So many really generous friends!

Deb’s son (Tyler) is sixteen. He spent a bunch of time on Sunday playing with Maymo and Middle One at the local parks. Both of my kids were thrilled to explore a new park and hang out with “an older kid” and to find out that he’s adopted, too.

There’s a good chance we’ll use him for short-term babysitting (an hour here or there as needed) since he lives across the street. I’ve heard that his rates are quite reasonable..

Oldest One came home from his party on Sunday with a big grin – he had a great time. It’s the first time he’s done anything social (without the rest of the family) since he moved in with us, so I’m really glad it went well.

I’m also hoping the good experience will prod him into further social stuff with his friends over the summer. We’ve told him he can hang out with them any time he wants, really, and that he can invite people over.. but he’s SO SHY.

All told, it was a great weekend.

Today I’m doing the usual Monday cleaning stuff and then running out to pick up Maymo. Then, this afternoon, our social worker is stopping by for her monthly chat. We’ll be talking about how the visit with 15YO went and how/when/if to schedule another one – and, of course, the usual talk about how our boys are doing.

Phew!

I admit it – I did not expect any of the kids to taste ‘em. I didn’t expect, even if they DID taste ‘em, for anyone to LIKE them.

Hell, I wasn’t even sure that the ADULTS would like them.

But Maymo had seconds (!!) and kept talking about how much he liked the “chicken”.

Oldest One even tried some with the added-spice sauce Coffee and I made for ourselves.

Middle One ate his serving. He appeared to be the least thrilled – but still ate ‘em.

I got the recipe from here. It appears the creator is named Katie. I think I like Katie very, very much.

We made a double batch and there were absolutely none left. They were crisp on the outside, chewy on the inside, exceptionally tasty and very saucy!

Instead of plain tempeh, we used some with basil (I think). But otherwise we followed the recipe and.. zow! Totally recommended. Particularly good, I think, for people like us who a) like chicken wings, and b) have never attempted to cook with tempeh before despite having a brick in the freezer for some length of time.

After trying this recipe, I’d totally want to subscribe to the ‘zine noted on the web site – but it appears to no longer exist. (Hrmph.) I’m posting the recipe here simply in the event that the ‘zines site disappears. But I’m including this disclaimer:

THIS IS NOT MY RECIPE. I DID NOT CREATE IT. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT OTHER THAN MAKING MY KIDS EAT IT TODAY. KATIE MAY ASK ME TO TAKE THIS DOWN – AND I WILL! – SO BOOKMARK HER SITE OR PRINT THE RECIPE FROM HER SITE OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO!

Okay. The next part belongs to Katie..

Tempeh Wingz

These are my version of hot wings, with a slightly more mellow sauce.

When you take the wings out, immediately transfer them to the pot and coat in the sauce. Serve immediately.

Oldest One is at a birthday party for an eleven-year-old hussy girl today. It’s a SWIMMING party. With, like, swim suits. Half-naked pre-teens in a pool. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SEE HIS NUBBINS!

On the one hand, I am glad he actually left the house. It’s the first time he’s gone ANYWHERE other than with the whole family. No joke. I am glad he has friends and that he was invited to this party and all that other stuff.

On the other hand, HELLO? GIRLS? NO THANK YOU. DO NOT WANT.

When Coffee dropped him off he noted that there were about twelve girls there and only two or three boys. This confirms our suspicion that one of the girls LIKE-likes Oldest One. LIKES.

He IS exceptionally cute, as you know. And he does have this really adorable hair that flops in his eyes a little and looks really, well, CUTE. He’s very LIKE-likeable, I would imagine, when you’re an eleven year old girl.

He bought the birthday hussy girl an mp3 player that also does video. Lest you think that’s an insane gift for an eleven year old to buy another eleven year old, it was on sale for $25. Coffee and I have an agreement with the kids that we’ll pay $20 toward gifts (any gifts) and they are required to pay the rest if they want to buy something more extravagant.

But I also suspect that if the hussy girl even remotely liked Oldest One before the gift, she’ll be scribbling “Oldest One Ourlastname” over and over for the next month. We know she’s kinda’ geeky already – what with her apparent World of Warcraft addiction. And when you buy a geeky girl some technology you’re pretty much telling her you think she’s cute.

Now that he bought a wicked-cool gift for this hussy girl, I suspect the other girls will be all crushy too. And they will start to call him or something. And then there will be DATING at some point in the future.

I AM HORRIFIED.

WHAT IF SOMEONE BREAKS HIS HEART? I WILL HAVE TO KILL HER.

AND WHAT IF SOMEONE WANTS TO KISS HIM OR SOMETHING? I WILL HAVE TO KILL HER.

NO GIRLS. NO.

Swiped from Jo because, like her, I haven’t done a meme in a very long time…

1. Where were you THREE hours ago?
Giddily happy that Coffee was home, I had just locked myself in the bedroom with a library book.

2. What was the last thing to make you mad?
Nothing I can think of – the most recent ‘negative’ I’ve felt was frustration about an ongoing, seemingly-never-ending issue we’ve had with one of the kids.

Read the rest of this entry »

Two things:

1. Oldest One, age 11, is about 1 inch shorter than his 15YO brother. I am going to stop feeding him, ok?
2. This morning I put on a pair of socks and only now have I noticed, by the green stitching on the toes, that I’m wearing my four year old son’s socks AND THEY FIT ME JUST FINE.

When he walked into the restaurant, all three of my kids were huddled over a DS game. I quietly said, “Hey, guys? I think there’s someone here to see you..”

Middle One was the first to react – and, as always, the loudest – and he shouted 15YOs name. Big grins spread across everyone’s face.

All the kids hugged, and bounced around, and shouted. They talked and they laughed and I took some pictures (blurry, for the most part, since no one could stand still for more than 2 seconds).

I believe I spoke a total of 10 words to 15YO. Coffee, too. We just let the kids talk and hug and see each other without us being particularly involved.

After about 3 hours, we had to leave. 15YOs worker had another appointment and it was past Maymo’s bedtime. The employees of McDonalds were giving us “the look” as they walked by each time.

There were hugs and more giggles. Maymo gave 15YO some art he made at school. I gave 15YO an envelope stuffed with photos and the boys’ email address.

And we said goodbye.

It seems safe to say that there will be more visits in the future – so far my boys have only been positive. So far everything seems good. (The social workers, of course, will make the final decision.)

The visit with the adoption lawyer this morning went smoothly. We arrived early, the kids had their appointments (individually, while I waited in the reception area) and then I dropped them off at school.

Middle One remarked, “I’m glad you’re adopting me.”

Oldest One remarked, “I can’t believe you’re taking us back to school at 9:45 when we’ve hardly missed ANYTHING.”

That pretty much sums things up around here.

After school we’re meeting up with 15YO – though I haven’t heard back from our worker as to the exact location. Eeep!

Tomorrow morning the two older kids have their appointment with an adoption lawyer who will walk them through all the paperwork they need to sign, ask them some questions and then, assuming all is good, witness their signatures.

Last night I reminded the boys of this appointment and told them that it’s their last chance to change their minds about being adopted.

Middle One remarked that he definitely wanted to be adopted because we’re the best parents EVER. I laughed and said, “No, I’m pretty sure there are better parents out there.. I bet there’s one who’ll let you stay up as late as you want and watch TV all the time and stuff.”

He looked horrified and said, “THAT isn’t a good parent!”

Oldest One smirked and said, “A good parent is the kind that the kids don’t like because they have rules and chores and make the kids go to school every day and make them eat vegetables.”

To punctuate that statement, he took another fork full of mixed vegetables and crammed them into his mouth.

Good to know my kids don’t like me but know I’m a good parent, I guess.

After the appointment in the morning I’ll be taking the kids back to school again for the rest of the day – despite the kids requesting a full day off.

But once they’re home and have eaten a snack or two, we’re heading back out for their first visit with 15YO in a very long time. They’re all excited about this, though Maymo is somewhat confused and keeps referring to 15YO as “my cousin?” and seems perplexed by the idea of an “OLDER older brother?”

This is one of those situations where being an adoptive parent is difficult.

I want the boys to see each other, to remain family, to remain close (as close as possible) and to spend time together.

At the same time, I’m nervous. I’m concerned about the visit. I’m worried about how it will go. I’m scared of the emotional stuff we’ll have to deal with afterward (which will hopefully be as minor as what we experienced after grandpa was here).

But I keep cheering with my boys when it comes to seeing 15YO. I remind them daily as to how many more sleeps. I chant, “You get to see 15YO! YAY!” at dinner. I tell them that I can’t wait to meet 15YO and that I’m so glad it’s happening and that the agency was able to arrange the whole thing.

This has nothing to do with ME, is what I’m saying. It’s another example of the importance of putting the kids’ needs ahead of any nervousness I may feel. The kids need to know that we support this relationship (and we do) because it’s important to them.

The agency staff will be present for the “supervised visitation” and, if all goes well, they’ll recommend further visits and try to set up a timeline for making that happen.

The boys have also been given direction about what they can and cannot discuss – their new last name, the school they attend, etc – and they know that following the agency’s rules is very important.

I hope this goes well. I really do.

Stuck in my head, at this moment and for days running, is this song by They Might Be Giants. It’s called “Am I Awake?” and it’s totally addictive.

Am I awake?
What time is it?
When I get through this day
Can someone tell me how
And how much longer now
Am I awake?

When I get through this day
Can someone tell me how
And how much longer now
Am I awake?