September 2008

Coffee is not a fan of makeup. Applying a smudge of eyeliner to my face has zero impact on him – ditto for anything beyond chapstick. He just doesn’t see any appeal to it and it doesn’t make me “prettier” according to him.

This is not to say he chants, “TROLLOP! WHORE!” if I do feel like wearing makeup.

(Although that might be kind of amusing, albeit awkward, at the holiday parties coming up, no?)

Today I wandered through the store with Maymo and we saw an end-unit display for makeup. There was a closeup picture of a woman’s mouth, shiny and coated in lipstick/gloss, in front of which I found Maymo standing transfixed.

Me: Whatcha’ lookin’ at?

Maymo: Her mouth is… DIRTY. And spitty! Shiny and wet!

Me: I think that’s lipstick, honey, not dirt or spit.

Maymo: It’s gross.

I was pretty sure I could hear Coffee cheering despite him not even being there.

My dear friend Melle gifted Maymo with a camera for his birthday. A digital camera, thankfully. He is fascinated with my camera and I am reluctant to let him anywhere near it, so Melle gathered up her old one and re-boxed it and handed it to him.

He’s been snapping pictures ever since. He’s also been taking video.

Happily. Repeatedly. UNENDINGLY.

It’s like living with the paparazzi.

And now I’m going to share some of the photos with you…

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We had a weekend that was ALL OVER THE PLACE. Up and then down! Tears and laughter! Screaming and snuggling.

I need another weekend to recover.

On Saturday, Oldest One and Middle One had Scouting-related events.

Middle One went fishing and earned his fishing badge. He didn’t catch anything, he says, and was quite down about that.

Oldest One learned all the various and assorted things required to obtain his axe-wielding permit and pyromania permit. Or, um, something along those lines. He was proud – rightfully so!

While they were off doing their thing, Coffee and I took Maymo out for sushi. He gobbled down some tempura yam and declared himself “very brave!”. We both nodded our heads in agreement because, hey, a yam is pretty adventurous for him.

Then Nicole and Melle came over to hang out and chat for a bit since Nicole was in town visiting other friends. It was nice to have some grown up conversation and, since we had a 2 hour time limit, we crammed a lot in. I, of course, spent the whole time monopolizing the conversation and referring to my kids every 30 seconds (or thereabouts).

Ask me again why I have no friends?

After the Scouting-Outings, the kids were tired and totally being jerks. The kind of spiraling behaviour that starts with, “He hit me in the face with a balloon and so I kicked him and then he cried and it was his fault in the first place for hitting me with the balloon and IT’S NOT FAIR THAT I’M IN TROUBLE FOR KICKING HIM.”

Cue an hour of over-tired drama! Freaking out! Screaming!

Sunday was much of the same – drama! tears! fighting! – and by evening I was totally ready for bed. The kids, otoh, were still totally wound up and, true to form, were nearly impossible to drag out of bed this morning when the alarm went off.

Gah, I am NOT a fan of Mondays.

I do have a very special blog entry coming up shortly that I call, “Maymo Gets A Digital Camera For His Birthday”. Stay tuned…

Swiped from Jo.

Less than 50 questions for the people who are a little older….

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Luckily for me, Coffee handles the bill paying right now. (We sort of take turns, it would seem.) I think I most dislike paying any of the “intangible” bills like hydro/water.

2. Do you miss being a child?
Once in a while, yeah. Not often.

3. What errand/chore do you despise?
All of ‘em? That’s probably what I miss about childhood – fewer obligations and more time to play!

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
I don’t really ‘do’ romance. Any time I spend with Coffee is better than one single dinner at which we make gooey eyes at each other.

5. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
Not at all. Good times! I’d do it again the same way, quite frankly!

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When Oldest One is mad he likes to make it known to me by speaking ONLY to Coffee. He does not wave goodbye and he leaves for school without saying a word to me and he tries to pretend I do not exist.

I believe I am supposed to feel slighted or upset by this, with hurt feelings and all, and that I’m supposed to then apologize for telling him that he actually has to do his chores or do his homework or, well, whatever it is that he’s mad about.

The problem with his plan is that if he’s mad, and not speaking to me, it means I do not have to listen to him being mad.

His pattern has always been that if he feels something is unfair he launches into a constant whine. The hashing and rehashing and retelling of his side of things, with slight variances in the telling meant to add drama or score extra points, goes on and on and on. He yells! He freaks out! He cries! He explains in great detail how the entire situation is NOT FAIR even if he was given ample warning that his behaviour was veeeery close to earning him a consequence.

This new silent thing? A TREAT!

I do not have to hear how mean I am or how unfair the situation is.. or anything else, for that matter. I do not have to solve his problems, listen to him whine or bitch, and I do not have to repeatedly explain why he’s in trouble for doing X or not doing Y. I simply state my reasoning for the consequence (or why his behaviour sucked) and then he skulks off to be mad at me.

He does not follow me around whinging. He does not yell.

And then, when he is finished being mad at me, he goes back to speaking again. There are hugs and general happiness. All is forgotten (if not forgiven) and he’s happy to move on.

But the part where he tries to make me feel bad for the consequences? I don’t think he realizes how totally, completely and utterly UN-BAD I feel and how much I am just fine with the “punishment” he’s applying.

And I certainly won’t tell him…

My thinking here is that I’ll encourage Middle One to deal with his anger at me by, oh, cleaning the house. THAT’LL show me, too, no?

(This post brought to you by a Southern Ontario rainy day and Oldest One’s refusal to give his brother the rain jacket he outgrew a very long time ago.)

The other day I took Oldest One and Middle One to a particular store to pick up something Coffee needed. It was a really quick errand.

The clerk behind the counter was a young woman, maybe 24 years of age, who had a rather substantial set of boobies.

And they were on display within her tanktop-under-hoodie outfit.

Nothing scandalous, or inappropriate, just.. prominent.

When the clerk bent over to get a bag for our purchase from under the counter, she leaned forward slightly and I’m pretty sure I actually heard Middle One’s jaw drop. Oldest One was completely oblivious to the scene, despite standing a foot away, but Middle One was in awe.

I turned to look at him and he was fixated. Totally, completely and utterly mesmerized by the view.

This completely cracked me up because, hello, he’s eight and he’s noticing girls and, well, the open-mouthed stare was pretty darned funny.

I didn’t say anything to him – the clerk was close enough that I didn’t want to embarrass either her or Middle One – but Coffee chastised me later for not letting Middle One know the rule that you can stare but ONLY out of the corner of your eye. Y’gotta’ play it cooool.

I cannot WAIT for the boys to start dating.

It takes a lot of self-cheering to get me to post pictures on my blog. Seriously.

I am a.. not-very-good photographer.

Everyone I’ve ever spoken to about this “problem” reminds me that digital cameras mean I can take 800 shots of the subject and pick the best (which I do) and I try to be aware of the limitations of my camera (and, too, remind myself that I can’t afford a fancier one that wouldn’t help me much anyway, so there’s no point in coveting the fancy-schmancy cameras at ALL).

I read my manual for my camera and still have no idea what I’m doing. It really is a miracle when a good picture turns out – which are the ones that I show you, generally.

It’s particularly hard because there are SO many beautiful things in my life, in my world, that I’d like to show you. So many people and places and colours and moments that I just can’t capture worth a crap.

I have gorgeous kids. Very cute dogs. A husband who I love. A house with gardens that burst into unbelievable blooms in the spring and summer.

And, of course, I read blogs by people who have amazing skills. People who capture emotions and moments in time that totally make you feel like you’re THERE. My jealous kicks in and at the same time I think, “Oh, man, I shouldn’t post anymore pictures because, yeeesh… I suck!”

So there you have it. That’s why my blog isn’t chock full of amazing photos every single day. Not because I don’t have stuff to show you but because the stuff I want to show you looks better than I can possibly show.

Okay, maybe sometimes it’s not the camera…

He’s still cute though, huh?

Middle One seems to be getting the hang of that whole “reading” thing and is bravely starting to sound out words and try new sounds and, holy crap, it’s exciting. Last year he struggled hard and hated every minute of it so this is totally magnificent.

Two friends are visiting this weekend with the possibility of a stop-in by a third. Yay! Grownups!

I’d like to go to Goodwill sometime soon and start picking up some “fall” t-shirts. Black, of course. Goodwill shopping makes me feel wealthy.

Maymo loves school. I love that he loves school.

I’d like to find some really thick tights so I can wear skirts this autumn and not freeze my ass off. But they must be totally black and not remotely see-through because I do not have any urge to shave my legs this season.

Oldest One and Middle One both have activities this Saturday. Middle One is going fishing with his Cub pack and Oldest One is going to earn his axe, knife, killing-bears-barehanded and the ‘setting fire using only your teeth and your sparkly eyes’ permits with Scouts.

Tonight we’re having pizza for dinner.

This weekend will, with any luck, be a great big purge of stuff from the garage and house, along with some good ‘fall cleaning’ inside. I say that now, but when I wake up tomorrow I know I’ll be more excited about lying around the house with a mug of coffee and a library book.

Ice water is your friend. Drink more.

Lately I’ve been missing my Dad like crazy. Everything reminds me of him, songs come on the radio that he loved, photos appear when I’m not expecting them.. it’s nice to feel like he’s kind of “around” but, man, I miss him.

I tell Maymo that I love him a lot. He’s little and he’s never embarrassed by my outburst of L-O-V-E and he likes to snuggle and, in short, it’s super easy to tell him.

Plus, he likes to shout it across the playground to me and he yells it and he sings it and he LOVES me right back. Loudly and outwardly and pretty much constantly.

And then there is this:

Me: Goodnight Maymo! I’ll see you tomorrow, ok? Have a good sleep and have good dreams! I LOVE YOU!

Maymo: Mom? You don’t have to say that you love me anymore. I KNOW.

Me: Well, I’m glad you KNOW that I love you, but I’m still going to tell you. Because I do love you and I don’t want you to ever forget!

Maymo: (sighing like his life is so hard) I KNOW you love me. I won’t EVER forget. And I love you. And you will love me every day and tomorrow and forever and ever ALWAYS.

Me: You got that right, kiddo. Now, goodnight! And I love you!

Maymo: Goodnight! I love you!

Coffee refers to himself as “the guy that’s shackin’ up with Maymo’s Mom” because for the moment Maymo is totally and completely in love with me. He gets really excited about Coffee coming home, or Coffee playing with him, but oh, man, he thinks I am TOTALLY better than sliced bread.

I know it’ll end soon enough – of course – so I’m totally enjoying it while I can. How can I not?