October 2008

As it turns out, my favourite “kid art” is the kind that involves glue and tissue paper and ends up making a “stained glass” item.

I have a heart and a leaf on the kitchen window and I’m pretty sure they’ll still be there when Maymo is 30.

I promised a post about how we handle technology in our house when it pertains to the kids. Some of this will be repeated info from previous posts, of course, but here goes…

Computer
Although we currently have 9 computers in our house, only one of them – in the living room – is for the kids to use. It runs both Windows and Ubuntu and all three kids have a login and password. They are allowed to use the computer to play games, to use word processing software and to use the internet.

The internet is accessed via a “whitelist” that Coffee and I manage. Every site is blocked until the kid(s) ask for something to be unblocked – at which time the adults check out the site and decide if it’s appropriate. If so, we unblock it.

They are not allowed to use email other than when directly supervised (and rarely ask for it, which leads me to have to prod them) and they do not currently have access to MSN or other chat functions. There is no MySpace or Facebook access.

Oldest One is currently asking for access to MSN which Coffee and I are discussing. It’s a tricky thing, to be honest, because he’s not permitted to have unsupervised contact with his brother or mother, but he wants to chat with his friends from school. The other two have zero interest in chatting or anything else, really.

The kids are equally comfortable in Ubuntu as they are in Windows, fwiw.

I definitely want the kids to be comfortable using computers and the internet – but we have to balance that with the security side of things and the access to their brother/mother. I have no idea how that’s going to pan out in the future and, of course, there’s nothing saying the kids aren’t going to their friends’ houses and using MSN there..

Television
If I have anything to do with it, the kids will not have television(s) in their room at all. At the very least, they’ll have to save up for it themselves. It’s not that I’m completely anti-television, it’s that they have better things to do with their time. Like sleep.

We don’t watch ‘live’ television – it’s all pre-recorded on Coffee’s computer using MythTV. Commercials are either removed before the kids watch the show or, if not, we at least fast-forward through them. Since we have to set up any recordings ahead of time, the only shows we have set up for the kids are educational – Magic Schoolbus, Word World, Wonder Pets, etc. Generally, Maymo watches an episode or two (about an hour in total) per day and the other two kids don’t watch at all. They never ask.

We have assorted things downloaded or recorded that can be watched as a family – Dirty Jobs, for example – and Coffee has been sharing shows like Earthworm Jim and Invader Zim with the kids on occasion.

I’m not averse to television as a distraction or as entertainment – but I really want the kids to know how to entertain themselves as much as possible. To explore the world directly instead of having it fed to them in an unrealistic way.

Electronic Games
We have, in our house, a Wii and a Playstation2 and an XboX and 5 Nintendo DSs and three (I think?) Gameboys.

The kids are allowed to use them only if they have completed their chores and homework. They are particularly enamoured with the DSs for the simple joy of portability – in the car, in the hallway, in the living room, outdoors.. Again, they’d love to have the Wii or Xbox in their bedrooms but they’re “family” toys and, as such, they’re in the playroom.

Around here, “electronic time” is a pretty hot commodity and is often used as a bargaining chip with all three kids.

Last night I had this really disturbing dream in which Coffee would not “allow” me to buy a loaf of bread.

It was one of those dreams where I was REALLY tense and angry and argumentative. And he was all cool and calm and, “No, you have to put the bread back.” and I was all, “GIVE ME THE FUCKING BREAD.”

And then I woke up.

Anyone want to hazard a guess as to what part of my subconscious is trying to express itself?

OHMYGOD, people, I was without internet ALL DAY.

ALL DAY! FOR REAL!

Thanks to Coffee’s job change, we had to change our internet stuff around a bit. The thing that was connected to the other thing through his old job had to be disconnected from the thing and moved to another thing at his new job in order to make the other thing work here at home.

That’s my technical explanation. If you need more than that, I’m sorry, but I cannot help you and you already know that Coffee’s reluctant to comment around here for some ridiculous reason so, y’know, make up your own explanation about pigeons and wires and magical elves carrying email to your house from mine, ok?

(Being away from the internet apparently gives me the cold sweats and makes me write run-on paragraphs that border on incoherent.)

–

So, before I got un-internet’d, what were we talking about?

Oh, riiiiight, I was being melodramatic! Right! Shall we continue that trend? No? I didn’t think so. Let’s move on! Nothing to see here!

–

Tonight, Oldest One had his investiture ceremony for Scouts and it was so totally cool to see him standing up there in his uniform. He’s really proud of himself and I’m really proud of him and, in short, Scouts may be the best thing to happen to that kid since he moved in here. He’s excited about so many aspects of it that it makes me grin.

–

Thanksgiving was pretty good around here. It made me miss my family and yep, I got a bit weepy, but our trek to the Rockton Fair definitely perked me up. I realized that I’ve been to the fair approximately 30 years in total, with only two or three years missed due to assorted circumstances. Holy crap, I’m old!

The kids had a really good time, too. Maymo got on almost all of the rides, cried his head off and screamed that it was “TOO SCARY, MOM!” and then immediately asked to go on another one. (He is so wickedly brave/stubborn!) Middle One went on some rides and then insisted he wanted to try the rock climbing wall. He scampered up, flung himself down, and was so totally cool about it that it blew my mind. Even Oldest One, the hardest to impress, had a really good time on the rides and wandering around.

Both older boys had funnel cake for the first time.

Now, I know that I often comment on how my kids don’t require pity – they had a crappy bit of time in their lives and now life is evening out as best as possible. But… no funnel cake?! Now that I’ve provided them with that experience (and they loved it) I will happily accept all your “Bless you!” comments and your “You are such a good person!” remarks. NOW I’ve earned it.

(I’m mostly kidding. Maybe.)

Anyway, we also wandered around the fair and noogies goats and had long conversations with cows (man, I want a cow) and I made squealing noises at the beehives (why can’t I have one?) and chatted with the chickens (ditto on the having question) and then I saw the one item that made my little heart beat faster: a counterfeit UFC hoodie.

What’s Thanksgiving without some consumerism tied to violent sports, anyway?

Good luck getting THAT off of my body for the next two seasons!

Sadly, I spent the last of my money on that sweatshirt and THEN saw the booth that was offering up “temporary tooth bling” which, holy shit, man, WTF?! How can I fulfill my white trash dreams if I can’t have the UFC sweatshirt AND the dollar-sign bling ON MY FRONT TOOTH?

My life? SO HARD.

–

We had a huge Thanksgiving dinner – without turkey. I have zero interest in eating turkey, personally, so I’ve never cooked one. Coffee noted that we have a weird oven (it’s, like, half the size of normal ovens) and that neither one of us has any real experience with cooking large birds, so we’d be taking a huge chance in making one for a “special” meal.

We ate ham.

It’s close to bacon.

I love bacon.

All good.

We also had apricot-glazed carrots and homemade butter buns (man, I love making bread) and crockpot stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy and then.. The Chai-Spiced Pumpkin Cheesecake.

I’ve never made a cheesecake that turned out well before. It’s either been goopy or lopsided or cracked or simply overflowed in the oven and caused a lot of smoke and thus I ended up eating “smokey strawberry cheesecake” (which is even less appealing than it sounds).

But this? This was a culinary fucking MASTERPIECE.

AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE PUMPKIN.

Coffee ate some. The kids all ate some. I ate some and then wished I hadn’t let anyone else eat any because, hello, it was TO DIE FOR.

And it was nowhere near as hard as I thought it would be and I’m keeping the recipe for future use (like, say, for the grand celebration of Thursdays! or Library Book Reading! or Got Out of Bed This Morning! or Mommy Doesn’t Drink Much But She Sure Likes Cheesecake!)

Now I’m kind of excited about Christmas which is clearly a sign that I’m mentally ill and really, REALLY liked that cheesecake.

–

I’m sitting here feeling totally ADD about the internet and the 800+ items in my Google Reader and the 500+ emails in my inbox and the fact that, at some point, I’m going to have to do that sleeping thing.

But oh, I am so happy to be back online…

I’ve got the “blahs” combined with the “mehs” and the “ehhhs” and oh, sweet nelly, it’s gonna’ be hard work climbing out of this mood.

For an assortment of reasons, I’m feeling like a shitty parent. I’m feeling like a shitty wife. I miss my family. I’m feeling crappy about my pinched nerve and my stupid wrist and the fact that my uterus is currently trying to escape by clawing its way out.

I’m feeling like making a big ol’ list of shit and moping about it. I shall not indulge that desire, however.

After the kids left this morning, and Coffee made his way to work, I spent a few minutes reading email. Then I decided to stop reading email because, while feeling down, I have a stupid habit of interpreting everything in an “Everybody Haaaaaates Meeeeee” way. And when you ask people for advice and they’re kind enough to give it, you can’t really weep on them. THAT’S JUST DUMB.

(So if you’re waiting for email from me, please know that it may take a few days.. And when I do reply, it’ll be in a coherent way and there won’t be any weeping involved.)

The solarium is brilliant and sunshine-filled today, so I turned on my sewing machine and whipped up two more “magic bags” (one for Oldest One, covered in skulls and vines, and one for me in a soft lime green fabric with little words scribbled on it!) and then got out a needle and thread to hand-sew a hole in Middle One’s pants (not machine sewable without a great deal of precision and I do not have a great deal of precision yet).

It’s really good to get some sewing done, even if it’s really simple stuff. There’s just something totally satisfying about taking some fabric and turning it into something pretty or functional or, if I’m lucky, both.

In a short while I’m going to go and pick up Maymo from school. With any luck, he’ll have had a great day and I’ll get to hear all about it as we make our way home. His enthusiasm is totally cheering and, even if he’s currently going through a phase that’s difficult (for me, at least), I really like hanging out with him.

There are so many good things in my life – good people, too – and I think I’ll focus on that today as much as possible..

1. Myoflex. I requested a free sample of this stuff (you can too, via the web site) a while back and what I got was a “pain patch” (to be stuck on somewhere that hurts) and two little packets of pain relief cream. This morning I smeared some cream on my shoulder and upper arm and within seconds – literally – I was in considerably less pain. Wow! Suffice to say I bought a tube of it immediately after picking Maymo up at school today. Note that I am typing! on the keyboard! without screaming!

2. Otha’ Motha’s. I appear to be making some friends at the kids’ school while I’m standing around waiting for Maymo to emerge. First came Laura (who I really like). She was standing alone, too, and we both kind of felt like we were in school ourselves with the “everyone knows everyone already” thing going on. Then I met Michelle. And today I met Grace and another woman whose name I don’t know yet. You can fully credit Kitty for this, btw, since she’s the one who told me to suck it up and quit whining about not knowing people if I wasn’t going to make the move to get to know people. (Okay, she phrased it a lot nicer than that..)

3. My husband’s job. So far, so good! He likes it and they’ve got pretty much everything he wants in a job goin’ on over there except for the lack of paid nookie breaks. (Seriously, how great would THAT be as a job perk?!)

4. The Weekend Is Coming. It’s almost Thanksgiving and the Rockton Fair and we’re seeing Margaret Cho on Sunday night and, in short, the weekend is gonna’ ROCK. Also, none of the kids like stuffing (to which I say, WTF?!) so I’ll just have to share it with Coffee and that’s fine with me. He eats much less than the rabid pack of wolves.

5. Naps. Maymo was a flat-out jerk yesterday. Then he had a 3 hour nap AND went to bed early and recovered quite nicely. Today he was only a minor jerk. I see improvement. Thus, I have reaffirmed my devotion to the siesta for myself and everyone else in the world. In fact, why don’t you go take a nap now?

6. Read THAT! As Maymo continues to develop some seriously cool literacy skills – like sounding out words and sight-recognition – we’ve been doing a lot of cheering. But the cooler part is that Middle One is doing the same! YES! He’s making HUGE strides in his reading and spelling and doing well on weekly spelling tests and, in short, it’s some sort of a Festivus Miracle. I am SO happy for him!

7. Cookies? The kids’ school is doing a fundraising thing whereby they sell frozen cookie dough (and other assorted stuffs). I know from past experience that the dough is ridiculously good (while frozen) and bakes up really well to be equally tasty. If you’re local and are interested in some MacMillans cookie dough, pies, etc., I can totally hook you up. Since my kids don’t have a huge extended family locally, I’m positive they’ll be giddy to hear from you. (And yeah, you can betcher bippy I’ll be buying some for us!)

8. Warmth. Coffee and I are betting each other as to who will be the first to turn on the furnace. He thinks I’ll cave before November 1st and I think he’s forgotten that I can be really REALLY stubborn sometimes. Today was a super warm, gorgeous, sunny day.. here’s hoping it stays that way ’til November 2nd.

If the screaming, searing, agony-filled pain in my right shoulder is to be believed, I managed to pull a muscle and pinch a nerve this morning.

While sneezing.

Seriously.

It was so bad, at first, that I thought I was going to pass out on the bathroom floor. Or barf.

Suffice to say that I’m making a quick appearance online, now, and then I’m going to spend the day NOT using my right arm.

I feel like such a tool.

I didn’t say anything lest I jinx myself, but… the past few days I’ve actually spent a bit of time in front of the sewing machine.

Granted, what I’ve been sewing are “magic bags” – cloth squares filled with lentils. They finished product is placed into the microwave for about 1.5 minutes, emerge warm and toasty, and are ideal for snuggling up with before bed or on a cold afternoon or when you’re just feeling a bit chilly.

They’re seriously good. We’ve had some store-bought versions for the past few years but with the additional family members kickin’ around this winter, it was decided that we’d need more.

I started by making two – one for Maymo and one for Coffee.

Today I made one for Middle One.

Next I’ll make one for Oldest One and, if I’m feeling particularly adventurous, I may even make one for myself.

They’re easy and quick and my inability to sew a straight line with any predictability is not really noticeable on the finished product. A fat quarter makes two of them – so the fabric is cheap to pick up and lentils are ridiculously cheap given the volume.

My wrist is still painful at times – and I’m wearing my splinty-thingie when I sleep – but I promise to stop sewing if it REALLY hurts. Same promise for any other non-sewing task, of course. I just want to have my full strength back!

We often run errands in the early afternoons. I pick Maymo up from school and we scoot off to grab a few items – chatting together and wandering around and, generally, having a good time with each other.

Today, however, someone was in.. a mood.

And for once, it wasn’t me.

(Though I’m in one NOW.)

He started by telling me the most ridiculous of lies. When he was caught on it, he got pissed off and refused to speak to me. He got totally busted spewing two back-to-back lies on Monday night, so the quick lecture in the store was totally a refresher and not new material. His anger was also not a surprise.

Then, while walking down an aisle, he leaned over (giggling) and bit me on the arm. Not hard-hard, but enough that it pinched in a rather unpleasant way. That’d be strike 2. And no, I didn’t bite him back.

And then, fed up, I informed him that we were done running errands and were going home. He decided to stop moving, stand with his arms crossed and glare at me with laser-eyeballs.

Oooooooooookay then!

I paid for the stuff, returned to the aisle where he was still standing, and escorted him to the car. He refused to speak the entire way home (also okay, since he was being tortured by listening to me sing “Let It Be” over and over at the top of my lungs…)

We chatted about the whole thing – a reminder about why we don’t bite and a reminder about why we don’t lie and a reminder about why he has to stay with me in the store. Then we hugged it out.

And now he’s upstairs playing quietly – no electronics – and considering a brief nap.

I’m seriously thinking about a nap for myself, too.

Middle One: Mom! Mom! Look, it’s one of your favourite dogs!

Me: Oh! You’re right! (starts laughing)

Maymo: What dog?

Me: On the left – it’s a wiener dog! (still laughing because, dontchaknow, they’re hilarious dogs)

Maymo: (totally incredulous) A PENIS DOG?!

Middle One: Nooooooooo, a wiener dog. Not a PENIS DOG.

Maymo: A wiener IS a penis. IT’S A PENIS DOG.

Me: (now laughing too hard to say anything at all…)