November 2008

As I start making dinner, the kids parade in and out of the room to ask/tell me things. I shoo them away so I can focus.

The beagle begins howling incessantly. I make her shut up.

I preheat the oven for the chicken nuts (as Maymo calls “nuggets”) and dump some frozen veggies into a pot of water.

I put the nuts in the oven and then notice that the frozen veggies include lima beans because, apparently, I grabbed the wrong bag from the freezer. I also note that there are not enough veggies in the bag to make a full dinner’s worth for 4-5 people. And only one person in this family likes lima beans – his name is Coffee, and he won’t be home when we eat dinner.

I run downstairs to the freezer and grab a bag of frozen corn to supplement the original bag of veggies.

As I start picking the lima beans out of the pot (yes, I did) I notice that the oven is creating smoke. And more than usual. I peek inside and see nothing awry, just a bit more smoke than I’d expect. I figure it’s not a big deal and it’s just a crumb or two smoking on the bottom of the oven.

Then Maymo starts screaming and crying from the driveway where he’s standing, having returned from playing in the snow. As I stand up to look out the window, I note that there is still smoke coming out of the oven – but now it’s closer to “pouring out of” and I can see grey smokey clouds billowing across the hallway.

I open up windows and doors to air it out and peek into the oven to find flames shooting up from the bottom and middle of the oven. SHOOTING FLAMES!

I begin cursing.

I send Oldest One outside to see WTF is wrong with Maymo. And then I discover that when Coffee and I last made Bacon-wrapped Jalapeno peppers, one of them was left in the oven.

And it is flaming! Vibrantly! Joyously!

Then I hear Oldest One and Maymo yelling at each other outside. Maymo is still crying. The oven is full of flames and chicken nuts.

I rip the tray holding the nuts out of the oven and use tongs to pull out the charred remains of the jalapeno pepper. It still has a toothpick in it.

I lean my head up to the window and shout at Maymo and Oldest One to come inside. Maymo is still crying.

I extinguish the pepper under some running water and spritz a bit into the oven to stop the burning embers on the bottom.

There is more smoke. I fan the air and wonder if the ‘nuts’ will taste like smoke.

Maymo enters the house in hysterics because he, “couldn’t close the garage door.”

We have a chat about “asking for help”.

Oldest One informs me that when he tried to explain to Maymo that you cannot, in fact, just slam the garage door ON your sled, Maymo got mad and walked away.

Thus, Oldest One is not impressed with the idea of helping Maymo. He storms off.

Maymo is thus mad at me for not letting him be bitchy about the situation and for doing the whole “poor me” thing.

And the entire house smells like smoke.

I need a surprise in my life. Something.. new and interesting and unexpected.

The problem? I can’t surprise myself because, um, I’m kind of aware of what I’m doing at all times. Except early mornings when my entire body/mind combo are on autopilot.

Any suggestions? Thoughts? Ideas? Bonus points if it’s inexpensive because the holidays are coming and the kids apparently need these things called “presents” or there might be mutiny.

I’ve been listening to the new Guns N Roses album, Chinese Democracy, on repeat. And every time I listen, it gets better.

Holy shit, people. HOLY SHIT.

I THINK THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING.

Maybe I’m just happy to hear Axl singing something that I have not memorized down to every exhale/sigh/shriek. I mean, after all these years, I knew some of the old songs better than my own home phone number.

But I’m pretty sure this album is actually good. It’s not much like the older stuff, though there are some moments of familiarity, and Axl still shrieks and screams and yelps in plenty of places. But the songs are.. full and big and loud and.. good.

Dear Axl,
I apologize for doubting you.
Love,
Violet.

Nothing in my entire day will be better than this:

On Sunday, Middle One spent most of the afternoon barfing and sleeping and barfing and sleeping. By dinner time, however, he was recovered enough to eat some soup and crackers and bounce around the house again. I really think he had a migraine, given his symptoms, and it was a huge relief when he started to feel better.

This morning featured a lot of screaming and sobbing and general flipping-out. Why, HELLO MONDAY! I was really glad to have purchased an insulated “Bubba-Keg“-style coffee mug last week – it meant I still got to enjoy a large quantity of still-warm coffee once things calmed down a bit. Best $4 I’ve ever spent.

I have the hiccups. Gah.

We’re supposed to get 5cm of snow this afternoon.

Last week I started calling around to find some snow tires for my car – and there are none to be found in Ontario. They’ve all been shipped to Quebec to assist people with the new “mandatory snow tires law” compliance. I did locate one single set which could be mine for the low, low price of $170+tax PER TIRE, but I think I’d rather walk.

I have so many things to do today that I don’t want to do. That’s kind of the definition of Monday though, isn’t it?

I’m hoping to get some decent mail. I’m also hoping to get started on Christmas cards over here so they’ll be ready to mail on December 1st. That (and cookies) is the only thing I really love about the holidays.

I’ve had a twitching eye for about a month now. The biggest causes of eye twitching are stress and lack of sleep. I have both of those going on, so I’ll probably have the twitching eyelid until the kids move out. Try not to stare, ok?

I’m going to go and brush my hair now.

I may be full of happy bubbles – but Middle One is apparently full of barfing. Eeep.

There are certain people I know who, without doing anything identifiable, totally make my soul feel good. Fill me with contentment. Make me smile on the inside.

Pick your own description, really, the just make me feel GOOD.

I consider myself really lucky to have the friends that I do. To have just one friend who makes you feel alive and good and healthy? That’s amazing.

To have more than one? That’s gotta’ be some sort of unbelievable lottery-winning kind of luck.

Bonus point for giving good hugs.

Last night I was driving home, alone in my car, from one of those friends’ house and I was watching the snow come at me in a way that made me feel like I was flying through space (Warp Speed!). The radio was turned up nice and loud and I was singing at the top of my lungs.

Cars around me were slipping and sliding and I passed a number of them in the ditches along the highway, people who had forgotten how to drive in snowy-wet-icy weather.

And I felt so unbelievably good.

I have friends who never doubt that I love my kids – but who listen to my heartache and my annoyances and my concerns.

I have friends who tell me the truth in a way that doesn’t make me feel disappointed but instead makes me feel excited about something new.

My friends offer to help. Accept me as imperfect. Make me laugh.

Make me laugh more, still.

Send me home full of buoyant bubbly contentment.

It reminds me that I don’t need to settle for anything less because there are, in fact, people out there who are just plain amazing. I know them and I’ve met them and I can call them on the phone.

Today I’m feeling like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel good. And nothing has changed, at all, other than a few hours spent at a friend’s house. How amazing is that?

I have a LOT of links that I’d like to share with y’all, but there’s already too many on my sidebar. And I can’t seem to keep it all straight and orderly and neat-n-tidy. Plus, does anyone CARE what I read? Like, REALLY care?

And y’know, I need to redesign this blog. And my ability to pay someone, even a tiny bit, has LONG disappeared. And my ability to sit down and figure out how to actually work with CSS is even MORE disappear’d because, holy shit, I can barely find time to shower some days. Let’s not even discuss the ADD stuff.

I think I need an intern.