I suppose it’s natural for me to be surprised by some of the things that kids do (or don’t do, depending). I often forget what’s “normal” because the kids basically materialized in our home as “kids” and not, say, as infants or toddlers.
For example, did you know that five year olds do not, in fact, listen to repeated cautions or warnings?
This morning, as I sat down to eat my breakfast, the phone rang. I checked the caller ID (because I do not, under normal circumstances, answer the phone at all) and noted that it was the kids’ school.
Before 9 a.m.
Instead of immediately telling you what the call was about, let me tell you a few things about my kids and school and the like.
First, before you read any further, please know that Coffee and I both believe very strongly in what’s been called “FreeRange Parenting” and raising “FreeRange Kids“. I will be goddamned if I’m raising kids who are afraid of the world.
We teach them skills to keep safe. We protect them when they need it. We give them a safe launching spot and, while they live with us, they will always have us to kick ass for them when required. No one fucks with my kids, if I may be blunt.
But I am not raising them to be afraid to take chances and explore the world in a safe way.
We live in a really safe, quite small, city. We know a lot of our neighbours and we have zero hesitation letting our kids play outside unsupervised (although Maymo has to be with one of his brothers or us at all times). We live across from a small park that the kids regularly play at on their own.
Our school is a “walk only” school which means that all of the kids “in zone” are within walking distance and are expected to make their way to school by foot or bike. There are buses, of course, for the kids who are in some way unable to walk there (the school has a very large special education program as well as being fully accessible to pretty much any physical disability).
I think it’s really cool that the school emphasizes fresh air and a walk for the kids. I love that the kids get to walk to school on their own. It’s very cool to watch clouds of kids go by in the mornings.
Some parents think it’s insane. Oldest One is in grade six and there are two mothers who regularly walk with their grade 6 kids to school and home. I have no words for that.
One of them actually told me that it’s “so unsafe to let the kids walk at any age!” and I’m pretty sure my blank, uncomprehending stare convinced her that I’m a bad parent but, seriously? What? Are you going to walk ‘em to school in high school? Holy crap!
Now, of course, Maymo is, in my opinion, too young to walk to school alone. He’s five and easily distracted by leaves and the sky and questions about why boots are called boots.
So, when Maymo started kindergarten at the same school as his brothers, we put Middle One in charge of getting him there each day. They walk together and, with only a few hiccups, they’ve had no problems. Middle One is really proud of himself for being responsible and Maymo is happy that he doesn’t have to walk with his mom. (I pick him up, however, at noon.)
The hiccups we’ve had were easily solved with a discussion – “you have to walk straight to school, no goofing off” and “Middle One is in charge” – and they know the normal rules about not getting into cars with strangers or helping strangers find puppies or whatever.
I’ve had the school call me to advise that Maymo fell and scraped his knee on the way. He was fine, however, and didn’t need me to come get him.
I’ve had the school call me to advise that Maymo was mad because Middle One wouldn’t let him play at the park on the way to school.
But this morning?
This morning the school called to advise me that Maymo had stuck his tongue to a metal pole and had a bleeding cut on the underside of his tongue.
And that he was crying and wanted to come home.
Seriously? Are you kidding me? REALLY?
Maymo got on the phone and I asked him if he was okay (“no!”) and then I asked how his tongue got onto the pole (“I wanted to see what would happen!”).
I have no idea if Middle One was involved in this but you can betcher’ bippy there’ll be an inquiry this evening.
I asked Maymo if he wanted to come home or stay at school ’til I came to get him at noon. He waffled a bit. I told him that if he wanted to stay at school with his friends to ‘give it a try’ I’d stay home and he could call me if he changed his mind – OR I could come and get him right away.
He decided to stay at school.
Coffee and I have both talked to the kids about metal + cold weather + tongues. About how they should NEVER EVER DO IT. I’m pretty sure we even talked about how you could pull your entire tongue off if you did it (we like to add in a touch of plausible drama to our warnings).
Have I changed my mind about letting him walk to school with his brother? Absolutely not.
If it wasn’t on the way to school, or on the playground, it’d have been in our back yard. At the park. Somewhere else..
And besides, clearly Maymo has now learned that metal poles are not for tongue-kissing in the winter time. No need to worry about a repeat, I suspect.
But… yeah. Having kids is really, really surreal sometimes.
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