Puppies and Biological Moms.

A while ago I bought all 3 boys books about puberty and sex and babies and all that other fascinating stuff. I learned a lot of things – not about those subjects, specifically – while I was trying to buy them.

The first thing I learned is that the “girls and puberty” section of the local mega-bookstore is HUGE. More than one shelf! Pink and sparkly! Varied subjects and varied styles (from serious to very lighthearted)! All sorts of interesting things to see and read and some even came with special sparkly pens! Self-esteem! Body-image! Sexuality! Flirting and dating!

And the boys section? Literally a hand-full of books shoved in a corner beside the girls’ overflowing stacks. Plain, nondescript books. No sparkles. No fancy pens. Nada.

The next thing I learned was that reading through the books is crucial if you want to make sure your own values are represented. Whoah boy, some stuff was.. out there.

For me, the important thing was that the book be balanced and not shy away from subjects – particularly for Oldest One. He will make up his own mind about his feelings on subjects like abortion, birth control, masturbation and homosexuality as he grows up, of course, but I wanted facts and not judgments from the authors in the meantime.

(I am quite open with my beliefs around here – on everything ranging from premarital sex to abortion to drugs to God – but I am also very cautious to remind all 3 boys that those are my opinions and that they are different from many other people’s opinions and that the important-est thing in life is to keep an open mind and learn from other people and make your OWN decisions about morals and values.)

Anyway.

I ended up finding a series by Robie Haris that appealed to me more than any of the others.

For Maymo, I picked up “It’s Not The Stork!” and for Middle One I picked up “It’s So Amazing!” and, for Oldest One, I picked up, “It’s Perfectly Normal!”

All 3 books, to me, are good starters and they all have similar information (albeit in age-appropriate presentations) and I was perfectly happy to hand them over to the boys. The two younger boys read some for bedtime stories (!) and have had fun flipping through them in their spare time – Oldest One took the book, gave me “a look” and has said nothing about it since.

(I plan to pick up “The Guy Book” for Oldest One in the near future because it got really high votes on Metafilter and it seems like a good, balanced read.)

Maymo, however, has now become vaguely obsessed with babies. He’s back to asserting that I’m pregnant (I’m not) and that the dog is pregnant (she’s not) and that the other dog is pregnant (she, also, is not). I finally had to tell him that the pets have all had operations so they can’t have babies – he was disappointed.

Coffee, too, had to once again explain to Maymo that he had an operation, too, so he can’t make babies with me. Again, disappointment.

Which has lead to Maymo informing me that his “first mom didn’t have that operation!”

A HA! Now we’re getting somewhere!

“My first mom didn’t have an operation! She made babies!”

“Yes!”

“Like puppies!”

“Erm.. Well, not like puppies, but..”

“I was a puppy in her belly and then I was born and now I am a boy!”

“Um, no..”

“And then 16YO and Oldest One and Middle One were born but I was first because I am the smallest!”

“Actually…that’s not quite..”

“And then my first mom said I could come and live with you because I had a babysitter first and when I grow up I will be a grandpa after I am done being a girl!”

Seriously, I would LOVE to be inside his head.

But the reason I mention the whole thing is because I’m really pleased to hear Maymo talking more and more about his “first mom” (he also calls her “My Mom-[her name]” which is how I usually refer to her, too) and starting to make some connections between being born and being adopted and how a lot of kids stick with their biological parents.

Prior to this, he was grasping the idea of his biological Mom, but he definitely didn’t understand why/how she was involved in his existence – kind of like talking about a distant relative. It’s really cool that he’s starting to understand “where babies come from” and how it applies to himself.

Of course, he has also asked me, again, to “make” a sister for him. Or to adopt one if I’m going to be all stubborn about not “making” one in my tummy.

I guess I should be grateful that he’s not asking me to ‘make’ him a puppy.