Yes, I’m Sure.

A few days ago, out of the blue, Middle One and I had the following conversation:

Middle One: Mom? Do you think that if I gave someone $20 they’d punch me in the face really hard?

Me: You mean.. pay someone to punch you in the face?

Middle One: Yeah. If I gave them $20, do you think they’d do it?

Me: Yes. I mean, assuming you could reassure them that you wanted them to do it and you weren’t going to call the police or something, I’m sure someone would accept $20 to punch you in the face.

Middle One: But just kids, right?

Me: Well, there are no adults in the world who will punch you in the face. But if one adult asked another adult, I’m sure they’d do it. Hell, most of them would probably do it even without being paid.

Middle One: REALLY?!

Me: Sure. We can ask Oldest One and we can ask Dad what they think.

Middle One: Okay! WOW!

Later that day, we were all in the car and I started the following conversation:

Me: Hey, Oldest One? If someone asked you to punch them in the face, would you?

Oldest One: Yeah! … (then, after a VERY long pause) As long as I wouldn’t get in trouble.

Me: Would you do it for free?

Oldest One: YEAH! Of course! I’d totally punch someone in the face as hard as I could if they asked me to do it!

Me: Okay, so then, Coffee? If another adult asked you to punch them in the face as hard as you could, would you do it?

Coffee: Well, not as hard as I could – I wouldn’t want to hurt my hand – but yeah, I’d do it.

Middle One: WOW! COOL!! WOW! REALLY? WOW!

In conclusion: The inside of a 9 year old’s head has to be one of the weirdest places EVER.

5 comments

  1. MayB says:

    Hilarious. I would love to have heard his train of thought on that one.

  2. Sylvain says:

    More importantly, what would YOU do for twenty bucks? :-)

  3. R. says:

    I guess my question would be why he’d want to let anyone punch him in the face. Generally the idea is to avoid being punched long enough to run or punch back harder, right?

  4. stroppycow says:

    You might want to explain to them that if the punch in the face results in injury “he asked me to” doesn’t exonerate you in court (even if they signed a contract) because it is a surrender of statutory rights so technically you could still be done for assault, so probably best not to encourage it. Anyway was middle one looking for a way to make a quick buck (charging people to thump him) perchance?

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