Hoarding.

Middle One is hoarding ‘stuff’ again. Or, more accurately, “still” hoarding stuff. It doesn’t really stop.

He’s rebuilding his collection of (seemingly) random things – pieces of paper, clothing, string, broken toys, old school projects, dixie cups, items from the recycling bin, game pieces, broken pencils.. all crammed into his side of the room. Bins of ‘stuff’ overflowing under the bed and no room on top of his dresser. Dresser drawers he can’t open, or can’t close, properly.

At first, we tried giving him bins – with the direction that he had to keep his ‘stuff’ in those bins. The lids had to close. If stuff wasn’t in the bin(s) and/or if the lid(s) wouldn’t close, we’d take it away for “a while”.

This summer we had at least four big bins of ‘stuff’ stored in the garage. He continued to accumulate more in his room.

We told him that if he didn’t take care of the stuff – putting it away properly or putting it in the bin-with-lids – we’d throw it in the garbage. We followed through. He continued to accumulate more.

We’ve worked with him on sorting. He accumulates more stuff.

We’ve taken stuff away (like the collection of plastic juice bottles he fished from the recycling, filled with water, and was storing in his room). He accumulates more.

We’ve yelled. We’ve cajoled. We’ve bribed. We’ve purchased different bins.

The biggest problem is that he shares his room with Maymo. And Maymo needs to have SPACE. It’s not fair for Middle One to take up all the room with stuff he doesn’t even WANT, let alone use. But.. he tries.

We decked our Maymo’s side of the room with new shelves (for toys and books) and Maymo regularly tidies up and organizes them. He folds his clothes and puts them in the drawers. His side of the room looks like a normal child lives in it – a little messy from time to time, a little clutter.

Middle One’s side looks like something exploded – and I’m not even sure WHAT. Just.. SOMETHING.

On his chore chart, there are two days on which he is expected to clean up his room – Thursdays (because Friday is garbage/recycling day) and Sunday (because that’s when his bedroom gets vacuumed). He lies and says he’s done it; he can’t clean it all up because it’s a disaster. Then he gets in trouble for lying AND hoarding.

I try to analyze the reasoning behind this behaviour – loss, loss and more loss. It doesn’t make it easier to handle. It doesn’t alleviate my concern that, some day in the future, he won’t die under a collapsing stack of bundled newspapers in a filthy apartment.

And it doesn’t make it easier for Maymo who has to share a room that has an odd, funky smell and a million empty containers, slips of paper and a large stack of plastic “TODAY” sheets that fit inside a school planner.

The thing is? Middle One doesn’t get particularly upset when we remove things – or throw them out – beyond the initial upset at being “caught”. He doesn’t get anxious. He just.. starts again. Like when you wreck an ant-hill and they pause before starting to recollect grains of sand.

He shows no symptoms of OCD. He isn’t particular about the items he saves – it isn’t all paper or all plastic or all WHATEVER.

I keep trying to figure it out. I have no clue.