January 2010

1. A really good and really productive group meeting this morning before class.
2. The latest issue of “Bust” has arrived!
3. Jamma pants in the middle of the afternoon.
4. Taking the time to clear off my desk, tidy some papers, type up some notes.. get organized.
5. Knocking things off of my to-do list and then feeling smug. Smug is a nice feeling, btw.

My psychology mark has been adjusted.

Yummy. My overall GPA is 3.84 for the first term.

(For reference: column 1 is the course code. column 2 is the course name. column 3 is the term. column 4 is the number of credits the class was worth. column 5 is the number of hours. column 6 is my numerical grade. column 7 is my letter grade. column 8 is my GPA.)

One of the classes I’m taking is meant to teach me the skills needed to interview a client within a counseling setting. It starts with the first meeting (which is where we are, educationally, at this point in the class) and moves through the process. Despite having been in various therapist’s offices over the years, I’m stunningly nervous about this process because it seems like a HUGE DEAL.

On Thursday morning, I’m doing my first counseling interview. A classmate has been given a scenario and I’ve been given my “professional parameters” – the agency with which I’m employed, the small bit of info I have about the client (name, age, gender, etc.) – and I’ll be spending 30 minutes interviewing my new client. The client will then give me feedback about how she felt, fill in a form about that, and then I have to write an 8 page paper about how all of that went. The paper is due on Tuesday morning of next week (!!).

In order to get some practice in class today, we were given a scenario and, in groups, asked to give consideration to how we’d start that particular interview. What questions would we ask? What would we want to know before we moved further into counseling the person? How would we get that person to develop a relationship with us?

And thaaaaaaaaat’s about where I started to hyperventilate.

My first reaction on reading the scenario was panic. I started to think about all the things I could possibly DO WRONG in the session – from saying something stupid to not asking an obvious question to falling into unprofessional behaviours and even trying to solve the client’s problems on my own, immediately, in the first intro session. OMG! OVERWHELMING! HOLY CRAP!

It wasn’t even a really scary scenario. I mean, it was basically a bunch of stress and some circumstances… nothing huge.

One thing I’ve learned about myself in school so far – and there’s been a LOT of self-discovery – is that I tend to listen to people’s problems and immediately start looking for answers. How can I solve the problem and make it go away for that person? And when I can’t think of something, either because I don’t have the knowledge or because I don’t have the skills, I tend to feel like I have no business even HEARING the problem.

This is not what counseling is about. I know this. I’m still working to internalize that knowledge, however.

I’ve been working on it. I’ve been working, in groups, to learn how to sit silently – or to ask appropriate questions – and let people figure out their own solutions. Or just get things off of their mind and out into the air. I’ve been learning how to take a deep breath before I speak. How to see strengths in people, rather than faults or problems, and try to see their issues through different lenses.

It’s fascinating what happens when you’re silent.

But.. I am so incredibly nervous about Thursday. I have to keep reminding myself that these 30 minutes are not meant to take the place of several counseling sessions – I don’t need to hear about, discuss, solve and resolve a problem all at once. I have to start with the basics – explaining confidentiality and agency mandates and who I am as a counselor. And those 30 minutes are about getting to know someone, finding out why they’ve come to counseling, and asking questions in order to get a big picture of the situation. That’s it. No problem solving!

School is AWESOME. And scary.

Maymo has a problem with the concept of “focusing” lately. A big problem.

In the middle of his chores, I find him holding a sock in his hand and swirling around singing. Laundry unfolded all around him, more chores to get done, and dinner/bedtime looming. I leave the room, return, and find him playing with a dog toy.

His teacher writes a note in his planner letting us know that he’s got some problems with the same thing at school – chatting with his friends and laughing instead of getting his work done. Today she kept him inside during recess so he could get the work done.

We have talked to him about focusing on each task. We’ve reminded. We’ve given consequences for it. We’ve made sure our expectations aren’t unreasonable (the only chores he has beyond “personal care” – things like brushing his teeth, showering, putting his own stuff away – is writing in a journal each day, a suggestion his teacher had for helping him get more comfortable with writing.) We’ve taken away play time in exchange for “finish your chores” time. We’ve put “X” on his chore chart when things aren’t finished. And… well, it’s not working!

Seriously. Kids are awesome at making me feel completely and utterly stupid and ineffectual.

1. I am so grateful to have my tiny little laptop for school.
2. I wore jeans, my “special snowflake” tshirt and a UFC hoodie to school today. AND NO MAKEUP!
3. Laughter.
4. The feeling of apprehension knowing that, on Thursday, I start practicing counseling!
5. I am learning new things! New!

1. I believe that, for the time being, I am fully organized with my school work.
2. Still having time, at night, to hang out with Coffee and play DS games for a bit.
3. A good mail day!
4. I have nothing due this week. (I do not wish to discuss next week, however.)
5. I survived “dress up day” at school and didn’t break my ankle in high heels.

1. We saw Avatar! And I agree very much with Kelly’s perspective. (And: it was a beautiful movie. The kids loved it as much as Coffee and I did.)
2. I have procured some “professional”-ish clothing.
3. Getting organized around some group work. Not a fan of it, but I gotta’ keep on top of it anyway!
4. A lovely shower with coconut-scented shampoo and conditioner.
5. Daydreaming about spring in the brighter light of recent days.
6. Clean laundry is a blessing.
7. A really late night with Coffee, watching (recorded, commercials-removed) TV and eating Toaster Strudels.
8. (Apparently) Getting a good mark on a psychology test (I won’t find out my mark until everyone has taken the test – the deadline is Jan 23rd at 5pm). It’s my first online test for my online class!
9. Post-Its that are extra-sticky.
10. Tiny little rare earth magnets rolling around in my hand and forming funky shapes.
11. Middle One has been on a streak of good behaviour, hard work at school/homework and general cheerfulness. And he’s seeing how it pays off, too!
12. Taco Salad for dinner last night, made using a classmate’s recipe.
13. That my school planner is a “student” planner so I’m still using the same one from earlier this year. Less to copy over/around!
14. Knowing that my best is simply that: my best.
15. I am married to a man who supports me in absolutely every sense of the word. He loves me.
16. Bonus: Spending some time snuggled up to the aforementioned husband. Warm and sleepy..

I’m writing a paper that compares childcare in Canada to childcare in Sweden. I can handle the Canadian side of things. I’ve started researching the Swedish side of it.

One of the things I’m investigating is the immediate and the longer term benefits to families and children under the Swedish system. Any of my Swedish friends want to be quoted? ;)

1. Our mastercard company caught $3700 in fraudulent charges going through today and closed our card after talking to Coffee. Phew!
2. Everyone has given me some great advice on things to do re: clothing, recording and some other recent issues. THANK YOU BLOG-READING AWESOME PEOPLE!
3. Some of my classmates apparently consider me smart enough that they WANT to work with me in groups and I am totally flattered.
4. I really like the new teacher (she taught another of my classes today) and think I’m going to learn a lot from her.
5. The beagle is not dead nor barfing anymore. Yesterday was.. unpleasant. Today is good. PHEW!

One of my professors frequently advises our class to “sit with someone new and get to know them.” It’s good advice, in a way, except that he’s also the same professor who will evil-eye you if you’re talking in class when you should be listening. It’s for this reason that I do not attempt to sit next to new people very often. I get paranoid about that evil eye!

Truthfully, it’s also because I like to concentrate in class. Either on the notes I’m typing, the words someone’s saying, the answer I’m giving, or.. y’know, whatever. And the people I sit next to are aware of this and don’t try to distract me or be goofy (though on occasion we’ll toss out a little quip under our breath). Maybe it’s the ADD, or maybe it’s just my personality, but I need to control my distractions and I don’t want someone whispering, “So, what do you do in your spare time?” in my ear or peering at my laptop screen to see what I’m typing or.. gah!

I am trying to get to know my classmates whenever possible, however. It’s hard for me since I often feel socially dorky and awkward and have to fight the urge to flee. Sometimes I feel like an interloper when I’m talking to people who have an existing friendship. But I try to sit with random people at lunch, or chat briefly in the hallway, or join into a conversation.

This term I’ve arranged to be in groups with new people – and I’ve also been put into a few groups randomly that have new faces. I’m curious about how this will play out. I’m also going to be taking some serious notes on people’s actions, words, work-style (etc) so I can select really good people for next year when we do a lot of big, intense group work.

Some of the projects this year are fairly easy – not that they won’t take a lot of work and effort, but that they’re straight-forward and involve research and writing and sitting around thinking about particular issues. Others are pretty lofty – especially the group work. The biggest challenge is that our term is shortened by five weeks – the last part of the term is taken up with field placements – so we have a lot of stuff crammed into a short period of time. Instead of a bunch of smaller assignments, we have HUGE assignments. Instead of a series of quizzes, I have one exam worth 45% of my final mark!

This term I have a new teacher, as well, who I quite like so far (today was my first class with her). She’s not far out from being in school herself and, as a result, seems to have a great deal of enthusiasm for classroom discussion in place of some of the other, less-interesting methods of teaching. She’s teaching a continuation of a course that I took last term, and I’m intrigued by her methods so far. Tomorrow I have her for another class, so I’m curious about that too.

One of my courses is fully online (psychology) but has a huge group-work chunk to it. Tomorrow is the “meet and greet” with the prof for the class and then we’re off to the races in terms of working at our own pace. I have no idea how group work combined with a fully-online course will go, but I’m hoping the word “jammas” factors into it somehow. ;)

And, in the three days that I’ve been back to school I’ve pretty much managed to destroy all the organization I did over the holidays. I’m still waiting to hear about the strike and how it may, or may not, impact on things (oh, the rumours! the drama!). And I’m trying to wrap my head around being back in a schedule again. It’d help if I could sleep at night – the cough keeps me awake – because I feel totally and completely exhausted on top of everything else. AHHHH! STRESS!

But new is good. And this is new, but the same, so it’s a nice thing. I’m aiming to finish this year the same way I finished my first term – doing really well, learning a whole lot, and kickin’ ass!