March 2010

Oh, uh, yeah. So, this whole GiST thing, huh? Kinda’ slipped past me…

1. My group was given an extension for our psychology proposal due to illness and exhaustion (from various members). Phew.
2. I still really like my field placement. I am unsure as to whether I could work there long-term, or not, but I think that will become clearer in the next while.
3. This weekend I did more laundry than I’ve done in eons – in part because I had a lot of little loads to do (like the new jeans I bought which are dark blue and shouldn’t be washed with other clothing, yet) and because I had purchased some clothes at Value Village that needed to be washed before wearing. It felt good to get it all done, though!
4. New clothes from Value Village! CHEAP!
5. Coffee bought me a chocolate bunny with rice crisps. Mmmmm.
6. UFC last night!
7. Getting the dogs’ blankets washed. Phew, dogs smell BAD in the Spring.
8. But.. it’s… SPRING!!
9. We seem to have evaded the whole “flooding basement” thing this year.
10. BBQ’d Lick’s Veggie Burgers for dinner last night. For me. The kids and Coffee had meat.
11. Listening to Middle One’s theories of religion. Awesome.
12. Schadenfreude.
13. Watching the chickadees eating the peanuts from the feeder.
14. Watching a woodpecker show up and start eating the peanuts from the feeder!
15. The fact that any time a bluejay shrieks, Coffee will go toss out more peanuts in shells. They’ve totally got him trained!
16. Maymo’s nearly never-ending cheerfulness. Is it too much to ask that he always be like this?
17. I will never be pregnant. All Hail Vasectomies!
18. Getting a new Bust magazine in the mail.
19. Laughter.
20. The way the cat yowls until I give her some kitty treats. Clearly Coffee isn’t the only one trained well..
21. BONUS: A good night’s sleep makes many things a whole lot better..

On Friday, I spent the morning with another one of the workers who let me accompany her on visits with two clients in the community. I spent the late afternoon in one of the group homes.

One of the consumers needed to go to the ODSP office because of some part-time work they had picked up. There is a maximum dollar amount that one can earn before ODSP benefit payments begin to disappear and the worker wanted to find out what that amount was for the client.

With certain mental illnesses, consumers can be very functional at certain jobs for (short, medium or long) periods of time and then suddenly crash – it would suck for them to crash and be without any financial assistance whatsoever. Even more important is that ODSP has a drug benefit plan that many consumers rely very heavily on to assist them with the cost of their meds; losing that particular benefit would, in many cases, be worse than losing the monetary payments.

I sat in on that meeting and got to hear how the process works – some parts were awesomely helpful and some, well, not so much. I was quite intrigued to hear that if a consumer goes off of ODSP for some reason (say, they get an awesome job or the health issue resolves itself) they may be eligible to stay on the medical/dental plan for life as long as they don’t have those benefits through their employer.

We visited the consumer’s apartment, too, and I was able to see some of the ways in which the mental health issues manifested themselves in terms of living environment. The consumer showed us some areas of concern but was completely oblivious to the things the worker and I thought were problematic. It’s akin to walking into my kids’ rooms and seeing a huge stack of laundry and saying, “Hey, how ’bout that laundry?” and having my kid say, “Hey, Mom? I really need more lined paper..” The worker calmly pointed out the areas that seemed problematic, the consumer dismissed it, and we moved on.

While there, the worker filled out some paperwork to give to the landlord, addressing the consumer’s concerns, despite disagreeing as to whether some of those things were actually being a problem. (For example, hypothetically, the consumer could point out a tiny spot on the wall and decide that it’s a very serious mold problem – the worker, however, could feel that it’s just a speck of dirt that could be washed.) The worker’s job isn’t to interpret or reason; they are there to help the consumer with particular needs, including paperwork like this, so they’d just write down “potential mold problem on kitchen wall – please check.”

The consumer expressed a desire to get a job – not just the part-time odd jobs they’d been recently doing – and the worker said she’d start the paperwork process for that. ODSP has a job-finding service that takes a client’s disability in mind when finding them a position somewhere. The worker told me that when you see someone with a noticeable cognitive disability, for example, working at McDonald’s and wiping tables, chances are good they got the job through ODSP. Working in that part of the ODSP office is apparently a highly coveted position; you get to help people do things they want to, and can, do.

From there, we moved on to picking up another consumer from home and heading back to the ODSP office to do some general paperwork – change of address, submit some receipts, etc. Then we went grocery shopping to pick up the consumer’s food for the week. Some consumers are very independent and really just need a ride to the store and others need someone to provide a great deal of guidance or reassurance. This particular consumer just needed a ride – but the three of us trekked through the grocery store together. The worker was then able to see what the consumer was purchasing and whether it was adequate. If it wasn’t, she would have documented it as a concern and then had to decide whether to intervene.

The emphasis within the agency is, very strongly, on self-determination. I approve wholeheartedly of this. Consumers are allowed the right to make decisions for themselves; the workers provide guidance, offer suggestions, and, in the case where something goes far off the rails, helps the consumer get back on track. It’s pretty neat to observe, of course, but one of the workers did note that it can be really frustrating to watch people make the same mistake over and over when you know you could simply tell them what to do and have a better outcome. Instead, gentle suggestions are provided.

The worker and I then ate lunch together and I headed down to the group home.

Once there, I met up with a few of the residents who are starting to get used to me being around. I get a lot of “Oh! Hi Violet!” greetings and they like to tell me about anything that’s new or interesting for them. It’s very friendly and very nice. It’s an odd feeling, though, to walk into someone’s home randomly and I can’t help but wonder how the residents view that. At the same time, there are many people who wander in and out all day long – support workers, social workers, nurses, etc.

The time I spend at the group home is, for the most part, very random. I spend some time chatting with various residents, look through some policy binders, read action plans, etc. Ultimately, it’s the place within the agency that I’d least like to work full-time (and the place where I’d be most likely to start, of course!) since there isn’t a lot of individual contact with consumers.

I can’t believe I made it through a whole week. On Monday I don’t go to the agency – I’ll be in school for the afternoon – and then I’m back working from Tuesday to Friday. Repeat the next week (and the next, and the next, and.. until the end of 5 weeks!) I can’t wait to hear about my classmates’ placements and get some ideas for where I want to go (and really do NOT want to go) for 2nd year.

I was invited to attend the agency’s Non-Violent Crisis Intervention certification training today and, of course, I agreed. Excitedly. Giddily, even.

I am what you might call a “training whore”. I will attend pretty much any training, for any reason, if it’s either inexpensive to me or paid-for by someone else. It doesn’t even have to be relevent to my job or my life; if you’re hosting a training and I’m even a tiny bit interested, you can count on me signing up.

The day started at 9 a.m. I was told to wear something comfortable (and no, flannel jammas were not an option) and that lunch would be provided. HELLO! I AM IN!

We started off with an overview of non-violent crisis intervention (NVCI) as a concept – the gist of which is to calm down someone who’s agitated (“in crisis”) and de-escalate the situation.

And, if that doesn’t work for some reason, the next step is to know how to physically protect myself WITHOUT hurting the other person in any way.

The discussion started with some conversation about what it means to “be in crisis” and the various stages of crisis that a person can go through (from feeling anxious, basically, to throwing punches or attacking). We discussed ways to identify someone in crisis through interpretation of their body language, verbal cues, and then how to respond accordingly to calm things down.

There were a lot of examples provided – real life from within the agency – which was very much helpful.

Then we ate lunch. I love free lunches. I don’t even care what you’re serving me – sandwiches? SURE! veggies? YES! WHATEVER! FEED ME!

After lunch we started into the physical aspects of crisis intervention. This meant pairing up, randomly, and trying to punch each other in the face, kick each other’s shins, pull each other’s hair out, and, my favourite, trying to choke each other from the front AND from behind.

This is TOTALLY a good way to get to know strangers! AWESOME!

The trick with NVCI is the whole “non-violent” thing. It doesn’t mean the client isn’t violent, it means the workers are not permitted to use violence in response. So, when you’re choking the shit out of me, I’m not permitted to knee you in the testicles or attempt to gouge your eyeballs out.

All of the responses to violence involved moves that allowed me to escape without hurting the attacker. They’re all pretty much followed by “..and then run like hell and call for help.”

At the end of the day, we had a written test to check out our knowledge. In a few weeks I’ll get my certification and a little card that I can carry around with me to show people as they’re choking me or pulling my hair.

I can’t wait to use this on my kids.

Good times. Goooood times.

A few people have asked for a password to my “locked” entries. I haven’t responded because Coffee is in the process of setting up user account access – which will allow me to give each person their OWN password and then be able to track IP addresses of people who are viewing the locked posts. This will help me identify if someone shares the password with anyone, specifically, and will also allow me to easily ban someone ‘by account’, if neededm rather than needing to change the main password and tell everyone. Yay!

I apologize for posting this here instead of emailing everyone individually.. but, y’know, that whole “totally exhausted” thing is blowing my schedule out of the water lately.

As well, if I don’t know you – as in, not at all – chances are good I won’t be setting up a user account for you. My intention in passwording some posts is simply a desire for privacy around some issues pertaining to my kids; if I don’t know you, well, I have no way to determine if you’re one of the people who shouldn’t be reading. That sort of defeats the purpose of passwording, no?

If I DO know you and you want a password, please let me know! I’m saving up the emails. :)

1. I slept well last night. I am so grateful. Lack of sleep + me = not-so-good-things.
2. My field placement has, thus far, been incredible. I’m sad that many of my classmates aren’t having the same level of experience, however.
3. Maymo wearing a lime green shirt that I bought him. Spring! Coincidentally, I was also wearing a lime green shirt today.
4. The agency is paying for me to get some really cool training. I’m really excited!
5. Being treated with a great deal of respect, kindness and general friendliness by all the people at the agency. I’m really impressed that so many people want to make sure I learn a lot while I’m on my placement and are willing to take the time to explain things to me.
6. Coffee has come home from work this week to find a very tired wife – and has basically just stepped in and done everything. I am really grateful – my husband is awesome.
7. Jamma pants. Sweet, precious, flannel jamma pants.
8. Makeup that’s made to “last all day”. For someone who doesn’t normally wear makeup, it’s pretty cool to put it on in the morning and not have to think about it all day long.
9. Laughter.
10. Dr. Pepper!

LED – Obviously I’m learning all sorts of things lately (many of which would likely be excrutiatingly boring to some readers). Thanks to Kelly referring a few times to the Shambhala Sun, which I recently began to read, too, I found this article about a particular UFC fighter’s tattoo being erased from promotional materials. I hadn’t seen any promotional stuff at all, being the media-avoidant that I am these days, but I was really surprised to read why the UFC is censoring the om mani padme hum from Dan’s belly. Hmmm.

Edited: Thank you to Sylvain for noting that it’s ODSP and not ODSB. I’m used to referring to the “benefits” (B) and not by the actual program name which is Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP). At least, that’s the excuse I’m using. ;) I think I’ve corrected myself throughout the post, but if not, please do your own mental substitution. And, of course, thanks, Sylvain!

…

This morning I started my day at the agency’s main office before moving down to one of the group homes. I was greeted with a very cheerful, “HI, VIOLET!” from one of the consumers – apparently, I have the same name as the consumer’s grandmother. Violet isn’t really a common name these days, so they love that they’ve met another one! :)

From there I traveled to the palliative ward of one of the local hospitals to meet with a consumer who is nearing the end of life. I was more than a little anxious about this meeting – mostly because I don’t have much experience with death as a long(er) process. I knew the consumer’s diagnosis and how long the issue had been ongoing and I had been told that the consumer’s mood could be up, or down, and the same could be said for energy levels and the desire to interact with people.

Basically, I was worried about showing up – as a student – in the hospital room of a dying stranger who might view me more as an intrusion. That, and what if they started talking about end-of-life issues and I got hysterical?! I have a great deal of anxiety around death..

Okay. So, I started taking deep breaths again.

We started by briefly chatting with the palliative nurses to find out the consumer’s status – food? energy? sleep? mental state? physical health and pain? – and then went into the room to make some introductions. As is my new habit, I noted that they (the consumer) could ask me to leave at any time if they wanted, and that I appreciated getting to meet them!

From there, the three of us met with the hospital’s end of life planner (I’m sure she has a more official term) who handles final arrangements and details, talks about pain relief in the ending stages, finances and everything in between. It was interesting hearing how funerals are arranged for people who receive social service benefits (like Ontario Works ["welfare"] or ODSP ["disability"] payments) and which departments within those agencies handle which issues. The consumer talked about what they wanted in terms of a funeral service, where they wanted to be buried, who should get all their belongings, etc.

The agency that I’m working with is funded by a government Ministry – though the particular ministry has changed a few times over the years depending on the legislation. Most, but not all, consumers with the agency receive funds from governmental agencies and, due to mental illness, the most common is through ODSP. The way money is allocated, and how much money is available, shifts and changes depending on the consumer’s needs, stage in life, medical requirements, etc. This is one area of social services that I get really worked up about – there’s so much paperwork and so many procedures and processes that it’s an f’ing miracle that anyone ever gets what they need. And then they change all of it and decrease payments and.. well, yeah.

Further to that, I learned today that if a client is hospitalized for a longer period of time, and are currently receiving monies toward (subsidized) housing, there’s a good chance the client will lose their housing while in the hospital – because the government considers it “double dipping” due to the money they’re spending on the hospitalization.

In other words, if you’re getting money toward housing and you go into the hospital for a long (specific number of days) time period, the government doesn’t want to pay your rent at home AND pay for your medical care. So they don’t. Can you imagine leaving a hospital and finding that you suddenly have nowhere to go?

The best part? Generally you then have to go back on a really, really, REALLY long waiting list for subsidized housing. And you’re not given any priority because, hello, you HAD housing and you LOST the housing and other people NEED housing and…

I’ll stop, now, before I start ranting.

The meeting with the consumer was awesome. I learned that they have a huge knowledge base pertaining to specific animals (and I learned some interesting facts) and heard many, many good jokes. We made our way to the hospital cafeteria to get a drink and chat a bit. I was then asked, very politely, if it would be okay to hug me.

Day 3 – third hug! YEAH! :)

There wasn’t much talk of dying – and I was grateful. We did talk about the group home the consumer had been living in and how good the hospital food was and how nice the nurses were in the palliative ward. I was thanked, over and over, for coming to visit and for being “so nice”.

My supervisor and I left the hospital and headed back to one of the group homes. I accompanied some staff (and one consumer) on a few errands. Then I entertained myself by reading some of the logs for the home, in order to get an idea for the flow of an average day. I checked out some medication information and read up on a few mental illnesses.

I got a big, “BYE VIOLET! SEE YOU SOON!” from a bunch of the residents of the home as I was making my way out to the car. I noted that they’d see me again on Friday afternoon.

Tomorrow I’m getting my Non-Violent Crisis Intervention training – the agency decided to pay for me to go and get certified. SWEET! I love pretty much any training I can get my hands on.

And yep, I’m completely exhausted again. I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday – I feel like I’ve been running like crazy for an entire year. Yeeeesh!