May 2010

1. I signed my employment papers (and about 400 other documents related to work) and now I have a job!
2. Tonight we’re sleeping in our own room, on our own bed, and I couldn’t be happier. I like sleeping next to my husband very much, thank you.
3. Air conditioning. I’m really glad we upgraded ours last year.
4. My ebook reader. Love it. Yay!
5. I made hummus and yogurt – this means tomorrow won’t be a day of emptiness and longing.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Are you slipping into one of those moods in which you feel like a fraud? Are you starting to worry that maybe you’re not who you say you are? If so, I want to remind you of what happened the last time these feelings got stirred up: You became super motivated to prove that you *are* indeed who you say you are. And that had a most wonderful effect, didn’t it? It led you to locate and call on resources you hadn’t known you could have access to; it spurred you to purge some self-deception from your system; and it roused you to intensify your commitment to rigorous authenticity. How about an encore?

Jeez, Mr. Brezsny, you’re starting to scare me!

Last night I slept on the living room floor because our bedroom, in the basement, was still filled with dusty-air from the drywall removal. Actually, no, that’s only half-true. I slept partway on the floor, partway on a foam mattress, partway on some squished-up pillows and partway on what felt like a gravel road. Coffee slept on the sofa, curled into an “L” shape – which I realize sounds sort of okay but it totally wasn’t because he’s something like 9 feet tall and the sofa is about 2 feet long.

We both tossed and turned and woke up stiff and exhausted and, while I can’t speak on his behalf, I can say that I am officially TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT.

Today, however, the dust appears to have settled downstairs and it looks probable that we’ll be able to sleep on our soft, supportive bed. Next to each other. Without a cat butting my head and mewing, at 4 a.m., because she’s so damned happy to see me.

When the alarm went off this morning, I wanted to weep. Everything hurt and I was so tired that I could feel a tantrum building up in the darker parts of my brain – the dark parts where rational thoughts do not exist. But I dragged myself upright to drink a mug of coffee (made with chocolate milk!) and to make kids’ lunches and to otherwise try to wake up.

I needed to wake up because, at 9:30, I needed to be at the head office for the agency where I did my field placement. (I should probably come up with a new ‘name’ for that place, huh?)

I needed to be there to sign my employment papers and to give them some documentation and, in short, I really needed to look somewhat competent and speak coherently. I figured that if I went in there looking hungover and surly and incoherent, with jammas still on, they might just find a way to ‘accidentally’ lose the employment paperwork and tell me they had clearly confused me with a normal human being.

The kids left for school and Coffee left for work and I slapped myself in the face a few times, put on some makeup, and ate a few cookies (I ran out of both yogurt and hummus this weekend – woe! woe is me!) and then I hopped in the car.

I got to the agency and the HR guy wasn’t in. He wasn’t expected ’til noon. Oops.

I came home, emailed Coffee, and the phone rang a few minutes later. The HR guy was in the office, apologetic, and I laughed because, really, is there anyone fully on their game the day after a long weekend?

I got back in the car.

I signed my employment papers at the agency, was handed my ID badge (with a terrible, horrible picture), my parking pass, and a stack of documents about confidentiality and internet use and, um, some other things that I should probably read about sooner, rather than later.

And now I am officially one of the Employed People of Society again.

The position, I think I mentioned, is as a “relief worker” which basically means I’ll be covering shifts of any length (as short as 3 hours and as long as a full 12) for anyone who’s out of town, vacationing, unavailable, or sick. I am not guaranteed any hours at all, obviously. The pay is really good (okay, so anything is better than nothing, right?) and I love my supervisor (who happens to be the same supervisor I had for my field placement) and all is good.

I have my training next week.

Unsurprisingly, I have already mentally spent part of my first paycheque on an awesome pair of running shoes.

The rest? I’m spending on hiring a clown to thank Sylvain for his awesome reference. :)

1. Long weekends are wonderful!
2. The drywall ceiling in our bedroom is down. I even got to slam a few holes with the crowbar!
3. Middle One had a really good time at his soccer practice and he’s definitely good at it.
4. On Tuesday I will be signing my employment agreement (if all goes as planned, that is).
5. My husband is totally an enabler when it comes to my hobbies.
6. Kids + books = fabulousness.
7. Watching Coffee slam things around, crowbar in hand, shirtless, was.. highly enjoyable. *ahem*
8. Library books! Fiction! Cookbooks! HEAVEN.
9. Pizza is the perfect meal for hot days when no one wants to cook.
10. My fluffy duvet, a cold and dark bedroom, and a king-sized bed.
11. When I am stubborn and agitated, my husband fixes it. Even though I stubbornly try not to let him.
12. A new computer – smelling all yummy – to replace the one that ‘xploded in the last power outage. (It’s the “family” computer, which is the only one the kids can use, so they’re VERY happy.)
13. Central air conditioning.
14. I finished the book I was reading and had the 2nd in the series ready to go — on my ebook reader! (The 3rd is also sitting, ready to go!)
15. Sylvain sending me “sexts” that crack me up.
16. Bonus #1: Feeling better about stuff.
17. Bonus #2: Fresh air and sunshine are good for the soul.

1. Skittles Vodka is mighty good stuff. Messy and ridiculous to make, but worth the effort when mixed with Sprite later.
2. 30 Rock. (I have SUCH a crush on Tina Fey). That show kills me every time. Love it.
3. The Internet. It is magical!
4. The idea of a long weekend, even if we’ll be doing crappy renovation-style things for much of it, makes me happy. I’ll be hanging out with my husband!
5. My advisor sent me an email (in reply to an email that I sent him) that made me laugh out loud. Awesome.

1. I got the job!
2. Pizza for dinner, ice cream after.
3. I have really good friends. Online and off.
4. Having loads of energy lately to get things done that i want to get done.
5. My husband is supportive, funny, snuggly and wickedly hot. :)

On Tuesday I go in to the office to sign the papers, give them papers, etc.

During the first week of June I’ll have my first training at one of the group homes.

I am now gainfully employed in the field in which I wish to be gainfully employed!