1. Antibiotics. Oh, sweet, sweet antibiotics.
2. Friends that make me laugh.
3. Two bottles of purple hair dye waiting for me..
4. The kids start school a day before I do – this means I’ll have the house to myself all day! YEAH!
5. Getting hit on by strangers. Flirting is good!
6. Struggling onward even when I don’t feel like making the effort.
7. Pretty nail polish colours.
8. My doctor prefers “same day” appointments – call the morning that you want to come in. This is a fabulous thing for some occasions (like today – I have a UTI and couldn’t bear to wait for an appointment!)
9. My husband making me feel less anxious. This is pretty much a full-time job for him lately, unfortunately.
10. Reading good books.

1. UFC! UFC! UFC!
2. Working a short (3 hour) shift at the group home where I was most recently trained. It went well!
3. Laughter. I think I could befriend almost anyone who has a good sense of humour.
4. Jalapeno Poppers!
5. A little over one week ’til school starts.
6. Sleeping in my own bed. I am becoming a little old lady – fussy about my pillow and my mattress and my own room. I don’t care.
7. My beloved husband.
8. I’m working a few shifts this week which won’t be ridiculously lucrative, but anything is better than nothing, right?
9. The way Daisy sees me and immediately demands a belly rub in the morning.
10. Coffee, for many years now, always notices when my water glass is nearly empty – and hops up to refill it. He is very sweet.

1. Rituals and routines that feel good.
2. Ordering some “school supplies” from Jet Pens. :)
3. Sleeping in my own bed, sans wires and monitoring.
4. Feeling safe and loved.
5. My beloved husband’s presence.

I got to the lab at 8:30 (as I was told) and changed into my jammas. I carefully filled in the forms, signed my name, and followed the tech into the little room to have my wiring affixed.

We chatted about the whole deal – the various things they’d monitor with their wires, how much info they get, etc. – and then I returned to my room to read my book until 10:15.

The room itself was fine – a large, comfortable bed occupied most of it, but there was also a night table (on which I put my water, Tylenol and cell phone), a small bedside lamp, a fan (heaven!), a desk and a chair.

I had brought my own pillow and Jeero, of course. I cannot sleep without Jeero.

At 10:15, the tech appeared to hook up my wires, tuck me in, and bid me goodnight. I shuffled around in the bed, getting used to the wires and tape and goo.

At 3:15 am, I was still awake.

Between 10:15 and 3:15, I changed positions and I adjusted blankets and I moved my pillow around. I tucked and untucked my feet. I had some panic attacks. I drifted off – and jolted awake again within seconds due to the person in the room next to me snoring wildly.

My nose was incessantly itchy. My entire face was begging for a full-on rub down thanks to all the tape and goo.

At one point my crotch was itchy and I couldn’t bring myself to scratch it because HELLO, CAMERA.

Then I started wondering if it was possible for the lab to get bedbugs – the thought of which made me itchy EVERYWHERE.

During one of my drifty moments, I had a dream-like event in which I baked a loaf of bread – going through all the steps from proofing the yeast to kneading the dough to placing it in a pan. As soon as I put it into the pan, however, I was wide awake. WTF is that? My ‘work’ was done so I just.. woke up? DAMMIT, BRAIN.

On 5 occasions, the tech had to come into the room to reattach or replace a wire. I have a huge red mark on my face where the tape had to be removed and replaced – twice – because the wire stopped registering .. something.

At one point, during a near-anxiety attack, I remembered that they were monitoring my heart rate – and, thanks to that recollection, my heart decided to beat FASTER. Then I tried to calm myself down by breathing deeply – and remembered THAT was being monitored, too, which made me feel ridiculous and then I started to panic again.

At 3:15 I waved my hand at the camera and asked to be unhooked so I could go to the washroom. On exiting the washroom I found a lineup of my fellow sleep lab’ers – all taped up, tubed up, wired up, and looking the way I was feeling. (This cheered me slightly, by the way, because misery really does love company and we all looked ridiculous.)

At 3:30 I was fully hooked up, again, and back under the covers. The tech told me to “keep trying [my] best” and said goodnight again.

Right-o.

Mercifully-ish, I fell asleep a short while after that. I don’t know how.

And, of course, at 5:45 the techs started going from room to room to unhook everyone and send them home.

To say I was tired on waking would be to understate things significantly. Staggeringly tired.

The tech noted that he didn’t notice any significant apnea – but that the doctor would need to analyze all the assorted data to make the final determination of my sleep quality (oh, ha ha.). I’m not considered urgent, however, so my follow-up meeting with the doctor isn’t until February.

Worst fucking sleep I’ve had in a LONG time. Glad they caught THAT on tape.

1. Sex in the early mornings.
2. Strawberry kefir.
3. It’s almost the weekend.
4. Crows.
5. I can finally see some progress in my purging, sorting, and organizing!

Sooooooooo.. anyone want to help me build a web site? One of those good ol’ fashioned blog things that will, say, have photos on it that people can comment/rank and to which other people can submit photos for commenting/ranking?

And anyone want to give me some advice on HOW to monetize the shit out of it, given that y’all seem to think I need to monetize the shit out of it?

Yeah. :)

Last night I slept alone – for the whole night – which is something I haven’t done in a while. I did the usual bedtime stuff, then added in a few of Coffee’s pre-bed rituals (like letting the dogs out and getting me water), and then I got into bed.

Then I tossed. And I turned. And I rolled. And I tossed some more.

I was alone because Coffee was at the sleep lab for his study. I can only hope they caught him talking and sighing and all the other noisy things he does during the night. Sadly, there was no live webcam feed of it.

Tonight it’ll be Coffee’s turn to sleep alone because I’ll be at the sleep lab – wired up and monitored – for seven hours of sleep attempts. I, of course, sleep like an angel and they’ll probably give me an award for Best Sleeper. I hope it comes with a cash prize.

I also hope the prize isn’t a CPAP machine because, despite all my readings, I’m having a hard time imagining how I’d adjust to it. I’ve been sneaking around on forums and reading various blog posts about it and.. yeah. I am worried.

It’s been noted that the partners of people with sleep problems often sleep poorly themselves (as a result of the other person’s movements or gasping or whatever). While it’s possible that both Coffee and I have some sort of sleep disorder, it’s also possible that only one of us has it – and is disrupting the other’s sleep with the side effects.

Unless either of us have a ‘severe’ problem, we won’t hear the results of the sleep study until February. (Yes, really.)

1. I went to a work meeting today. Getting paid to listen – really – for 2 hours? Awesome.
2. Tabouleh for dinner. Nom nom nom.
3. Getting to spend some time with Coffee this evening.
4. Finding a new home for some of my cookbooks!
5. Cake!

http://wetspotblots.ca should shortly be open for business – complete with user-submitted content (feel free to send it anonymously) once things are up and running.

NOW WE’LL SEE WHO’S CRAZY!

My mother worked as a librarian for several years of my childhood; she would take me with her on short shifts and let me wander the library and touch all of the books. I was never restricted to the children’s section, as far as I can recall, and I loved the reference books as much as the fiction as much as the magazines as much as the horror novels.

Some of my best memories involve my Cabbage Patch Kid comforter, a patch of sunlight, and an entire afternoon with a stack of library books. It was not, and still isn’t, uncommon for me to have several books “on the go” at any given time; opening a new book gives me a feeling that I can’t describe. It’s glee and potential and magic all wrapped up in paper.

I love the feeling of a book in my hand; I love the smell of the paper, especially in a brand new book. I love a well-designed cover and I love the various fonts that make up a story.

And ohgod, I love bookstores. All those beautiful, pristine, good-smelling books waiting for me to take them home gives me shovers.

I love books in part, I think, because of the possibilities: anything can happen. I might discover a new hobby or passion, or, equally as likely, I might find something new to dislike. I love other people’s perspectives and ideas and knowledge. I love certain words, too, and the way they’re combined. Sometimes I read and re-read one or two lines just for the way they make me feel.

Despite my early love for the library, it’s safe to say that, over the years, I’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars buying books. In my early 20s, I lived near a bookstore and indulged myself several times per week. I read very quickly, you see, which means I need a new ‘fix’ more often than others might. It’s safe to say that about 40% of my income was, at times, going toward books. (The rest went primarily to shoes and rent, I think.)

It wasn’t until Coffee and I moved to Stoney Creek, really, that I got back to using the library. I was going through my divorce and trying to figure out how to afford certain things – books were just not on the priority list. But I wanted them. I needed them.

There are problems with the library, of course.

The newest books aren’t always available – and if they are, chances are good you’ll have to wait for a long, long time to get them thanks to the holds list.

Some people treat books badly. In Stoney Creek, in particular, the books very often contained boogers (no, really) which was disgusting and dismaying in equal proportions.

But.. there’s no charge to read the books and keep them for a while. That’s pretty appealing when you’re on a budget.

I kept up the library habit after we moved to Kitchener. The library here is quite good – they buy books when a request is made (yeah!) and the selection they have is, generally, quite good. With kids, though, the library is AWESOME.

I want the kids to explore books without fear. I want them to pick them up, try them out, love/hate them. Books as gifts are among my favourite things – but the library gives them the chance to expand their horizons a bit. Check out books they’re not sure they’ll love. Try new authors. See what other kids are reading.

A while ago, I bought an inexpensive eBook reader. I had railed against them for a long time – a long, long time – for most of the reasons noted above. I like the tactile and physical experience of books. I like flipping through them before bringing them home (whether at the store or the library). I just wasn’t convinced that I’d like, or ever use, an eBook reader.

A local store had the lowest level eBook reader – refurbished – on sale. I figured I’d give it a shot and, if I hated it, I could probably give it to one of the kids to use or maybe just keep it for when I traveled somewhere.

It turns out that I love it. I love love it.

I was surprised.

Every single time I use it, I comment to Coffee that I’m really glad I bought it.

The first benefit is that it’s small – I can easily fit it into my backpack (or a purse) and it’s not heavy or wildly awkward to take it with me.

It also holds hundreds of books. All at once. That capacity makes it even better for taking along with me – I don’t have to wonder if I’ll be in the mood for one particular book when I can take a huge number of them with me. No extra weight in my bag.

It also means I can do my ADD-style reading and have several books “on the go” at any given time.

The battery lasts for about 2 weeks per charge. I can keep it in my bag and not think about it.

The screen on mine isn’t backlit – but it’s very similar to regular paper. I can use a booklight in the dark and I can read it just fine in full, outdoor sunlight.

Making it even better for me is that my local library offers ebooks. Many of them are recent releases, too, so I’m not just reading “the classics” or some crappy reference book out of desperation.

There are sites that offer free ebooks, too, that I’ve haven’t explored (yet). I also haven’t purchased any ebooks – my library has kept me covered.

My ebook reader isn’t going to replace all of my books, nor will I stop buying regular books (for the foreseeable future, at least). But this is saving me money, time, and keeping my backpack lighter.

Keep in mind that I have the lowest, cheapest version – none of the extra features and extra cost – and I love it. LOVE IT.

If you’re an avid reader, particularly one who likes to have a book at hand constantly, I’d seriously recommend looking into an ebook reader.