I don’t even know where to begin to catch up here, so I’m going to just stream-of-consciousness it and see whether I can capture a few of the more salient points in the process.

First, I had my gallbladder surgery and that went well – the recovery was weird mostly for the whole “be patient and don’t do anything” aspect. I’ve noticed a fairly nice change in my energy levels, my ability to eat foods (specific foods that had bothered me in the past) and I no longer have the pain in my side that had become a constant companion. In other words, it was probably a good idea to get the surgery.

I am looking forward to getting back to the gym again, carrying heavy stuff again, and getting some vitamins and supplements back into my system.

That lack of supplementation is, I think, the reason why I got and stayed sick a week or so after my surgery. I’m still a bit sick – sniffly and with a cough – but I’m about 95% healthier than the preceding 3 weeks. Holy shit, that sucked. I was just sick enough to be miserable but not sick enough to stay home or get drugged up for it. Basically, I recovered from surgery and then spent a month feeling like a zombie. Even now I wake up full of snot and coughing – I don’t recommend it.

My usual holiday gloom has been tempered significantly by my gloom around work. The job itself is still absolutely wonderful and I feel quite privileged to do what I do, where I do it, and how I do it. This time of year, however, is awful for most of the people with whom I work. It’s awful for the clients where I do outreach. It’s just miserable all around. I’ve tried to write several blog posts about this and have failed – maybe later it’ll be easier to express? Suffice it to say that while I am still not a fan of the holidays, and it’s still a struggle to maintain some sort of equilibrium, watching other people’s struggles is far, far worse.

I have been feeling exceedingly aware of, and grateful for, the goodness in my life. I don’t know why I’m so blessed with good people in my world – from coworkers to family to friends to blog readers – but I’m damned grateful for that blessing. (I’m verging on sappy, quite frankly, so I’m trying to keep this tucked in my head.)

We had a visit with the boys’ oldest brother recently (the one we didn’t adopt) and that went well. It’s been more than 2 years since we last got everyone together so it was good to get some updated pictures and have everyone chat a little. It’s always awkward and weird (for me, for them, for everyone..) and that’s probably better saved for locked posts, right? Right.

Coffee and I currently have a ‘challenge’ going on – he made an offhanded comment (not for the first time) that he could eat marble cake all the time and never get sick of it. I said he would get tired of eating it. As a result of that discussion I have made a total of 15 marble cakes and he has (so far) eaten 14 of them and shows no sign of stopping. The rules are that he has to finish each cake in under 7 days and, once he finishes, I have 24 hours to replenish his cake. If you’re my friend on Facebook or G+ you can see the photographic evidence of each cake as they’re set out to cool. On G+ Coffee actually updates when he finishes eating each one.

And that’s it, I think. The rest are little tiny stories in between all of that – but mostly the past month has been endless boxes of kleenex with lotion and re-watching episodes of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” before passing out each night.

Tomorrow is Solstice. The kids are staying home, the adults are staying home, and we’re going to celebrate the official start of longer days and more sunlight. Spring is coming!

Spring. Yes.

If you’re still reading, I need an updated mailing address for you… (please?)

For the past week, give or take, I have awakened to find my face basically glued to my pillowcase with snot. I’m tired from waking up all night, congested and miserable and thirsty from trying to suck air in through my chapped lips.

I stagger upstairs for coffee and proceed to work my way through seemingly endless kleenex. I feel awful. It takes about 3 hours before I feel human. Literally, three hours.

Then I have a chunk of time that’s pretty decent – my nose is red and sore from blowing it but I’m otherwise not too bad. Just a bit tired. I work my way through my various tasks at home and then at work and it’s not a problem.

By 3pm, I am totally exhausted again. And the congestion is starting up all over again.

By 6pm, I’m back to blowing my nose incessantly and feeling awful.

Other than being tired, my only real symptom is snot. Snot and more snot and some additional snot for good measure. Snot. Oh, god the snot.

No fever, no sore throat, no body aches.. just snot and the related pressure in my sinuses and face.

Someone please make this go away. please?

This is absolutely what I’m like at parties.

This is probably why I do not go to many parties.

I’ve now seen this list in a few places with no attribution – so I’m curious where it originated. Anyone?

At any rate, I agree with most of this. I would probably change the first one to “If you decide to get married…”

How To Be Happy.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.

This morning I put peanuts (in the shell) out on the porch for the various wildlife to eat for their breakfast. It was raining like crazy, but our porch is covered, so I figured the little creatures might eventually show up.

I heard the familiar screams of the bluejays (jeeez, they’re loud and bossy!) and looked out the window to see one of the BIG bluejays land with a shelled peanut in its beak – so, one that it had removed from the shell already.

A moment later, a tiny bluejay landed. The bigger one, apparently, led the baby to the porch for food.

Once the little one had picked out a peanut, the larger one flew up to the tree near our porch. The baby followed.

Repeat process.

This pleased me a thousand times over because, hello, now we have a new generation of bluejays to fatten up for winter! Whoooohoooo!

–

Later, I watched a squirrel and a crow walk down the sidewalk side-by-side. There is nothing funnier to me than watching wildlife stroll down sidewalks. Seriously, I come dangerously close to wetting my pants every time I see it happen – and today was no different. I think I smiled for a solid hour after that.

–

I read this article and was completely unsurprised but, at the same time, totally pleased to hear research back me up on my feelings that they’re brilliant creatures.

–

I’ve been on a roll of really good meetings lately – and today I had one that was as good, possibly better, than the rest. Completely awesome.

I live for the magical moment when I’m talking to someone and I realize that they GET IT. And not just that they get it, but they’re on board and agree with it and like it and they’re basically on my team. And seriously, I feel giddy.

That’s how today’s meeting went. Super fine.

–

The case of honey mustard that I ordered for Coffee’s Solstice gift finally arrived. That’s right; I bought him mustard for the holidays. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

–

Two friends who’ve been looking for employment for a long while – longer than they’d like, to say the least – both started new jobs this week. I can’t stop grinning about this. Such good stuff.

If you’d like a Festive Holiday Card, as described here, you’re running out of time to send me your contact info. You can email me your name and address at miserableblissblog@gmail.com or, if you’re totally confident that I already have your correct info saved somewhere, just leave a comment on this (or the older) post.

Semi-related, I have decided that my new goal is to find a very large t-rex lawn ornament that I can decorate with lights for the winter season. I feel like this would make winter a new favourite season for me, trumping all the awful shit that has happened in the past. Seriously.

Edited to add: Actually, I’d like that large t-rex to live on my front lawn all year ’round – but I’d only have lights on her during the winter.

Edited again to add: Ohmygod, now I can’t think of anything else that I want more than this. Bee in bonnet! BEE IN BONNET!

There is a particular lesson that I need to learn, and I am aware of it, and yet I still can’t seem to retain the lesson.  I keep finding myself discontent by the results of not learning this lesson.   What does that say about me, exactly?

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. -Victor Frankl